Baking

As mentioned yesterday, the continuing quartet had their first performance last week.  Normally I would give out Freddo Frogs as a reward, but I'm bored of that.  For my own chamber music concert recently, I baked mini cupcakes and decorated them with appropriate musical things (as well our group name).  For these girls I baked mini cupcakes and decorated them with the clefs and some musical signs.  At the end of rehearsal, I let them choose.

Girls: Oh you baked? Wow they are so cute!  And - aww, they've got a -
Viola: YAY!  You know how to do an alto clef.  I have to have that one.  Thank you!
Cello: Can I have... Can I ... ooh, can I have a G clef please?  Violin 1, you should have the f and violin 2, I think you need to take the p and - oh wow!  These are actually really yummy!
Me: Er - thanks...  You sound really surprised.
Cello: Well.  Yeah.  I mean, you made these.  And they taste good.
Me: Ye-es...  Is that really such a surprise?
Cello: Well, you see... Whenever my mum bakes, it's ... just... terrible.  I keep telling her, you need to use a bigger tin, because it all - well - it just - okay, all the baking soda separates and so it sticks to the bottom and it's just ... ergh... And then no-one wants to eat her cakes, and she's all like "Why don't you eat my cakes?" and I'm all like "Because it doesn't taste good" and then the next time she'll do exactly the same thing and then we go through whole conversation all over again and I'm, just, agh!  MUM!
Me: O...kay...
Cello: Man this icing is good!  How do you make icing, anyway?
Me: Icing sugar and water.  A whole of sugar and very little water.
Cello: Is that it?  Wow.  That sounds so simple.  Ha.  Mum always says "We don't have time for icing" but that is so not true.

Funny Pronunciation

The continuing quartet performed last week.  This was their first rehearsal since then, so I had a look for some new music for them and took a couple of compilation books along.  The first violin and viola were there at the start, so I gave them each a book to flip through and see if anything took their fancy.

Viola [looking at me with big eyes through big glasses, over the music stand]: Can we do Tango, number 3?

When the second violin and cello arrived I handed out booklets, and they all had a look through their parts before we played.  A bit of "How does my part go?" and "What's that rhythm?" and "Is that a 2 or a 3?" and then someone looked across at the 2nd piece.  I was still helping the cello, and the other girls started off the rhythm - dum - da dum - da dum - da dum ... for a while.

Cello [so judgmentally]: What's that?  Bor-ing.

We started playing the tango.  The cello part was really easy.  While she was playing, she stole a few glances at the second piece.

Cello [suddenly, eyes wide, very excited, and still playing]: Oh!  OH!  Can we do the number 2? PLEASE?  I just worked out which piece it is and my grandma LOVES it!
Viola: So are we playing that one now?  Fun-nee cull-ee fun-nee cull-ah?
Me [laughing]: Um.  Ah.  Few-ni-cue-lee few-ni-cue-lah.

You Said It

Junior Quartet yesterday morning.  I'm recovering from a cold - so, odd voice (if present at all), sneezy, sniffly, and grumpy.  Only 2 girls were there on time.  They were actually taking initiative and tuning their violins on their own.

Violin 1: Oh, Viola isn't here today.
Me: Why not?
Violin 1: She's at...
Me: Is she doing some... Sport... thing?
Violin 1: She's at [insert some regional thing] cross country.
Me: Okay.  Now.  You hear how my voice is still a bit weird? 
[Girls both nod, wide eyed]
Me: Well, I still have a cold.  So.  I need you all to behave.  Really well.
Violin 1 [giggling]: It's a good thing Viola isn't here then. [Viola is very chatty]
Me: Yes. Oh.  Well, you said it...

Too/Two

This year's junior quartet are so, so funny.  I wish I could record them and show you all.  Instead, you'll have to receive their hilarity secondhand, through me.  And just in case you're not fluent in Kodaly-speak as well as violin-speak: a 2 (two) is our second finger.  A too (or too-oo) is a minim, or a note held for 2 ta (crotchet) beats.

Me: Violin 2, what sort of two do you have in bar 32?
Violin 2: I don't have a too in bar 32.
Me: Um, yes you do.
Violin 2: No, I've got ta za za za ta ta ta ta-
Me: No not bar 31, bar 32.
Violin 2: Oh!  Ta ta ta ta-
Me [a little exasperated]: Yes, but what sort of two?
Violin 2: There is no too. [By this stage, Violin 1 and Cello have got up and are peering at her music as well, pointing to the right bar and saying the rhythm also]
Me: Yes, there is.  Find it, quickly, and tell me what sort of two it is.
Violin 2: I don't have a too in bar 32, and anyway, what different sort of toos can you have?
Me [finally cottoning on to the problem]: Ah.  Bar 32.  Your second note.  What sort of second finger do you have?
Violin 2 [blinking]: Oh.  Oh.  Low.
Me: Ah.  Yes.  Phew.

General hilarity ensued as they all realised the cause of the confusion.

Ah, Geography (Part 2)

The same boy as the last post.  We were now looking at The Entertainer.

Me: Who wrote this piece?
Boy: Um... [I point and, internally, roll my eyes] Oh.  Scott... Joh..pline...
Me: Scott Jop-lin.  Where do you think this guy is from?
Boy: France?
Me: Er, no.
Boy: Ooh, England!
Me: No - but somewhere they speak English.
Boy: Um... Italy!
Me: Ah... no.  Could he be Australian? 
Boy [shaking his head]: I don't think so.
Me: But don't we speak English here?
Boy: Yeah, but I don't think he's from here. [under his breath] Scot...
Me: No, he's not from Scotland.
Boy: I know that.  Oh!  Where else speaks English?  That's not England?
Me [knowing this could take forever]: Do they speak English in America?  Could he be American? [I start nodding really obviously]
Boy [looking rather unconvinced]: Yes?
Me: Yes.  Scott Joplin was American. 

Ah, Geography

[Great.  It just took me 3 tries to spell 'Geography'.  In the title.  I got it right first time, in this sentence].

9-yr-old boy, whose dad sits in on the lesson.  Boy has a pair of Iranian grandparents.  He'd accidentally brought his brother's violin, 2 sizes too big for him, so we were doing some theory and general knowledge at the start of the lesson.  We started with Barcarolle, by Jacques Offenbach.

Me [inner smirk - this is always entertaining]: Who wrote this piece?
Boy [squinting]: Jack...wez... Off... batch...
Me: I know it doesn't look like it, but his first name is zhark, and his second name is Off-en-bark.  [boy looks skeptical] Trust me.  Where do you think he's from?
Boy: Iran?
Me: Umm... no.  His first name is... [stunned look on boy's face] from France, and his second name is German.  He's actually German.

We then went on to talk about the name of the piece, and what it means.  It's from a French opera, which doesn't really help.

Me: So, we have this guy with a French first name, and a German last name, writing an opera in French... [boy starts to giggle]... and this song is a boat song from Venice [his dad laughs].  Do you know where Venice is?
Boy: France?
Me: Er - no.  This country starts with the letter "I".
Boy [quickly]: Iran!
Me: I knew you were going to say that!  No, this country is where pizza comes from... and spaghetti... Ferraris [running out of ideas]
Boy's dad: Where are Italians from?
Boy: Oh, Italy!!!

We then had a delightful discussion about Venice and not riding a bike to school through the canal.  Unless it's a hover bike.

Life of Pi

11-yr-old girl pulled out her phone and showed me the books she was thinking of reading next.  One of them was Life of Pi.

Me: Ooh, have you read Life of Pi yet?
Girl: No... I'm just ... thinking about reading it.
Me: Did you see the movie?
Girl: No. [looks apologetic] It - it looked kinda boring.
Me: Oh, it's not boring!  It's got a great twist at the end, and it's beautiful.  I ...uh... started reading the book.
Girl: And...?
Me: I.... couldn't finish it.
Girl: Why not?
Me: Well.... It's about a boy...
Girl [nodding enthusiastically]: Uh-huh...
Me: ... on a boat with 4 animals...
Girl: Uh-huh...
Me: 2 of the animals are natural predators...
Girl [face a bit screwed up]: Does... does the boy eat them...?
Me: Uh... No...

And then there's a wonderful moment when the girl works out what must have happened, as shown on her face.

I would like to finish the book, I just can't bring myself to do that just yet.

Viola Problems

Junior Quartet Tuesday.

Viola: I ... um... the A string broke on my viola.  So I can't play.
Me: Okay, so you just need a new string?
Viola: No... um... I don't have my viola.
Me: But you're just missing a string?
Viola: No, it broke in ensemble yesterday, and then I had to go, so Ms L said just to leave it there, and now I can't find it.
Me: Have you ... looked ... for it?
Viola: Um...
Violin 2: You should look in the chalet [where the string department is].  It's probably there.

Viola came back with a viola - not hers, but with all its strings intact.  Then, on Wednesday, she came up to her lesson at morning tea with Mr B.  With no viola, but a sheepish smile on her face when she saw me.

Viola: Hi.  Um, my teacher wouldn't let me go.
Mr B: Well, I don't have anyone now so can you come now?
Viola: Well [awkward glance at me] my A string broke.
Mr B: That's okay, I can put a new one on for you.
Me: Do you know where your viola is now?
Viola looks rather guilty.
Mr B: You - you lost your viola?
Viola [defensively]: Well, I didn't lose it, I just can't find it.  [Gives same explanation as above].
Me: Have you actually looked in the room?
Viola: I couldn't get in-
Me: Did you maybe knock on the staffroom door and ask if any of the teachers there could have a look for you?
Viola: Um...
Mr B: Well, you know what, I have a key so let's go and have a look now.

He's so nice.  It was right where she'd left it.  Now it has all its strings.

Second Finger Relationships

She's back.  One of my most entertaining girls resumed lessons last week.  In her lesson last week, she was very quiet and I thought maybe the events since last year had subdued her.  This week, she was back.  In all her crazy random glory. 

Me: What sort of second finger do you need to be doing here?
Girl: What?  Um.  Second finger.  Two.
Me: Yes... But...  Okay, high two or low two?
Girl: Huh?
Me: Is your second finger going to be friends with the 3 or with the 1?
Girl: What?  I don't know about their relationships!  How am I meant to know that?
Me: Oh boy.  It's a C# so it's friends with the 3.  Got it?
Girl [with the "I have a crazy teacher" look]: Ohhh...  Okay...


This was only a small part of her lesson.  We also covered Chinese zombies and snails.  Fun times.

Coffee is Good for You

...or, convincing the younger generation of the benefits of coffee.  It's never too young to learn.  10-yr-old girl saw me drinking out of my insulated cup, which had some drips down the side.

Girl [slightly judgmental]: Is that coffee, or tea?
Me: Tea.
Girl: I couldn't tell from the drips coming down the side.
Me: Well, they're probably from the coffee I had in here before.  I washed it, obviously.
Girl: So, you've had coffee today?  [parrot-voice] Coffee is really bad for you.
Me: No!  It's good for you!
Girl [raised eyebrow]: You're just making that up.  You know, Mrs S. has, like, 3 cups of coffee in the morning.  That's really bad.
Me: Nope.  Coffee is good for you.  It helps prevent Parkinsons disease-
Girl: What's that?
Me: You know when old people shake uncontrollably?
Girl: But you're not old.  You don't have to worry about that.
Me: The better you are when you're young, the less... awful... your life will be later. [girl is unconvinced]. Plus, if you have some coffee just before you exercise it helps you go further without pain.
Girl: Oh good.  So, next time, I should ask my mum for some just before ballet?
Me: Ummm... Maybe not.

There's no way this child needs a stimulant.

Montagues and Capulets

16-yr-old boy, and we're working on - yep, you guessed it - Prokofiev's Montagues and Capulets.  It had been a little while since I'd heard it.  The first part was okay (needed more attack, and he needs to practice his octave scales).  Then we got to the middle section, which is major, sweet, and triple time (as opposed to minor, violent, and duple).  Instead of a lovely sweet tone, he did a fabulous attack on the first note, which was really what I needed for the first part, but not here.

Me: Whoa!  What is happening in the music here?
Boy: Um... It's... [hand gestures - I wish I could have taped this and uploaded the video]
Me: Well, what's the piece about?
Boy: The... er.. Montagues and Capulets...?
Me: And... who are they?
Boy: Well, it's from Romeo and Juliet.
Me: ...And...?  Tell me about Romeo and Juliet. [this is sometimes a very disturbing eye-opener, when I discover my students know very little of Shakespeare].
Boy: Okay, so there are these two families, the Montagues and the Capulets.  And... the daughter and son... of the families... they fall in love with each other.  While the families are still, you know, feuding.  [With a 'weird' tone of voice] And the families continue to hate each other even while the kids are, you know, in love. [Hands rolling, yadda yadda yadda]  Oh, then it looks like Juliet has died, so Romeo ... umm... kills himself... And then Juliet finds out Romeo is actually dead, so she... ... dies.
Me: Good synopsis.  Back to the Montagues and Capulets.  What are they doing when they're feuding?
Boy [like, duh]: They're... fighting...
Me: Put yourself in 15th century Verona [not sure if that's the right century - sorry].  How are you going to fight?  Are you going to confront the other lot and go, hey, um, we're fighting?  [boy shakes head] Are you going to use a cannonball?  A shotgun?  A hand grenade?
Boy: No, you'd do some sword fighting.
Me [breathing sigh of relief]: Great. 

There was more - like what Juliet is actually doing in the slow part...  But I'll leave it there for now.

A 'D' Birthday

This boy is the younger (by about 6 years) of two boys.  He's small for his age, too, and is babied (in my opinion) by his brother and dad, who are always in the lessons.

Boy's dad: You might notice a slightly different J this week... [babying voice] Because he's had a birthday.
Me: I thought so!  So you're 9 now, aren't you?
Boy [downcast]: Yeah.  [pause] But I want to be 8 again.  I liked being 8.
Me: I understand.  Not much you can do about it though.
Boy's dad: Maybe, we should not have any cake, or presents, tomorrow?
Boy: Could I have a 'D' party?
Me [in my head - a what?  Have I misheard?  Am I really getting so old and behind the times...?]
Boy's dad [after a slight pause, with a look of confusion on his face too]: A what? [phew]
Boy: A 'D' party.
Boy's dad: What's a 'D' party?
Boy: You know.  Where I get a 'D' and have to go back to being 8.

Ah.  So, failing at being 9.  Not a bad concept.

Phone Case Awkwardness

This 11-yr-old girl saw my phone case, apparently for the first time ever.  Which is odd, as I'd had that case for about 2 years.  My phone provider is Virgin Mobile.

Girl: Oh WOW!  I love your phone case.
Me: Thanks.
Girl: Where did you get it?
Me: Ummm... I can't remember.  It's been a long time.
Girl [raises an eyebrow]: Really?
Me: Um.. Oh, wait.  It was the Virgin store.
Girl [gasping]: The- the what?
Me: The. Virgin. Store.
Girl [looking very uncomfortable]: Um.  I don't- ah... You shouldn't... I don't think you should say ... that word.

I'm guessing her phone provider is a less awkward-sounding name.

Appropriate Chapel Attire

Continuing Quartet this morning. 

Cello: Okay, so, this is so annoying.  I've got PE, like, first.  As in, right now.  So I have to change into my PE uniform.  And then I have [inter-school] cross country afterwards.  So I have to... yeah...  But! Later, we've got chapel.  And I can't go into the chapel... [withering tone of voice] un... [rolled eyes and a sigh for extra emphasis] ... formal... 

A Talk on Broken Hill

Walking with a grade 3 girl to her lesson, we started talking about NAPLAN (groan). 

Girl [excited]: But the good thing is, we don't have any homework next week!
Me: Well, that's a nice thing.
Girl: But - we did have three assignments this week.
Me: Three?!
Girl: Yep.  Well, one of them was a talk.  We had to talk about a town.
Me: Which one did you do?
Girl: Broken Hill.
Me: Ooh, what can you tell me about Broken Hill?
Girl: Ummm... Ahhh...
Me: Well, where is it?
Girl: It's, like, in the middle of Australia.
Me: Which state is it in?
Girl [in the "I'm giving a talk" tone of voice]: It's in outback New South Wales.
Me: Now, this is something I've always wanted to know - why is it called Broken Hill?
Girl [obviously pleased she could divulge knowledge]: Well, it's because when Charles Sturt jumped off the boat, he saw this ... hill... and thought it looked... broken.
Me: Ah.  So, is there a river or something?  For him to jump off the boat?
Girl [looking a bit confused]: Um... No, when he sailed on the ocean.
Me: Hang on a minute.  Australia looks like this [I drew a very quick squiggly outline of Australia in the air, with a tiny Tasmania at the bottom which made her giggle].  You just told me that Broken Hill is in the middle of Australia [vigorous nod] - so, how is Charles Sturt jumping off a ship on the ocean and seeing Broken Hill.
Girl: Ooh.  I mean, a lake.
Me: A lake?  Really?  Are you sure it wasn't a river?
Girl: Oh yeah.  Yeah, it was a river.

Well, I did learn 2 things.  Even more, really (I might include the end-of-lesson discussion soon).  But I didn't know why it's called Broken Hill, and I didn't know that Charles Sturt was the one who discovered it.

We're Coming to Your Concert!

On Saturday, I was in a chamber music concert.  So, I told pretty much everyone I know - including my school quartets - that it was on.  To the juniors, I gave flyers as I don't have all their email addresses just yet.  Last week, then - after the obligatory "Let's scare the life out of our teacher as she arrives" - there were clamouring voices.

Girls: Ooh, ooh - we're coming to your concert! - Oh yeah, we're coming too!
Violin 1: My mum wants to go, so I get to go too!
Viola: My mum? She just wants to know a couple of things?  Here!  She wrote down the questions on the form.  Answer the questions!  [I wrote down answers]  So, last night, I practiced... [pause]
Me: Um... that's great! [I really thought there was going to be more of that sentence]
Viola: Yeah.  [nodding vigorously]  Oh!  Yeah, that's when I saw the note.  And showed it to her.  [very excited] So we should be coming, because mum and dad really want to go!

Ends With...

8-yr-old girl, just played a piece (Over the Rainbow, for those of you playing at home) after starting to learn it last week, quite well.  Except. It. Was. Not. As smooth. As I. Would have... Liked.

Me: What could you do to make this piece sound even better?
Girl: Ummm...
Me: Anything?
Girl [shrugging]: Ummm I don't know...  Play it louder?
Me: Hmm the word I'm thinking of starts with ssss .... [girl raises eyebrow] .. and ends with -moooother...
Girl: Sss...lower?
Me: Ahem.  Ends with mooother.
Girl: Umm... sss...
Me: Ssmooo... Smooo...
Girl [like she's really having to think about this]: Smooo... Slower?
Me: Smooo...ther.
Girl [light bulb]: Oh!  Smoother!  Smoother?  Yeah, smoother.

... And, breathe...  Thankfully, she's a delightful, normally switched-on, musical kid.

Five Husbands - Developments

11-yr-old girl who thinks I have five husbands walks into her lesson, and has her phone with (thank you BYOT).

Girl: Sooo...? How's Tim?
Me: Good...
Girl: How's Andrew?
Me: Good... Still straight, as far as I know... Um, you'll have to let me know when that, you know, changes.
Girl: I'll let you know. 
[Some phone conversation happens - recordings and such].
Me: Right, phone away now.
Girl: Ooh, but-
Me [trying to get stern]: Away.  Now.
Girl: Ooh, but I just got a message!
Me [more stern]: Away.
Girl: But it's from Andrew!  He said - [concerned look on her face] - oh no!  He said, he's really sorry, but ... But... He's turned gay.
Me [breathing out]: Ah.  Okay.  Thank you for letting me know.
Girl [all concerned]: Are you okay?  I know this must be tough.
Me: Well, I had a little inkling this might happen soon.  And I imagine this will make my life a little easier... Right, scales!

Espressivo - Sounds Like...

I was going through some terms with a girl in grade 8 (who's only been in Australia a couple of years - English is her second language).

Me: What does tranquillo mean?
Girl: No idea.
Me: Well, if you chop off the o, and the last l, what do you have?
Girl [slowly]: Tran...quil...?
Me: Do you know what tranquil means?
Girl: No idea.
Me: Very calm, serene. [...] What does espressivo mean?
Girl: No idea.
Me: Let's try the same sort of thing... If we chop off the o, what do we get?
Girl: Um...
Me: Espressive...
Girl [excited]: Ooh, espresso!  We get coffee!  Right?
Me: Uh, no.  We need to keep the -ive.  Sorry.  Expressively.
Girl [not nearly as excited]: Oh.

Wedding Clothes

Today, I went straight from teaching at school to a gig - playing for a wedding.  Accordingly, I was dressed in all black.  This 11-yr-old girl spotted me as school was starting.

Girl: We went with all black today, I see.
Me: Yes.  I have a gig later today, playing for a wedding, so... all black.
Girl [raised eyebrow]: You're wearing all black... to a wedding?
Me: Yeah, I know.  But the musicians always wear black, it's what we do.
Girl: You should wear... Cream.
Me: But we wouldn't want to upstage the bride!
Girl [like, duh]: You wouldn't.  She'd be in white.
Me: Well, okay, but sometimes blokes play for these too.  Can you imagine them wearing all cream?
Girl [pause]: Yep! [Smiles].
Me [smiling]: Yeah, but I don't think they'd really like it.

Girl walks off grinning.