Not A Doctor

Junior Quartet this morning.  Visited by one of the cellists who is also in grade 5 this year (and was in my ensemble last year - the chatterbox).  This happened as we were heading down the stairs at the end of rehearsal.

Cello: No way!  Miss M, C just moved up to a three-quarter size cello!
C [obviously very pleased with this]: Yep!  It's cos my hands are bigger.
Me: Let's see.  [She holds up her hands].  Wow, your fingers are really long.  My hands are really small...
C:  How big are yours, let me see! [She tries to match up her right hand with my right, then I convince her to hold up her left].  No way!  Yours are tiny!
Me: Ah... yes. [Viola tries out as well, same result]
Cello: Well, Ms T said, my arm has grown... but...well... she's not a doctor...  So she wants to wait until my hand has grown as well, otherwise I might go flop [with accompanying arm-falling-down-the-cello action] and end up at the wrong end.

Hypothetical Odd Couples

Continuing Quartet (10-yr-old girls) this morning. 

Cello [in the middle of working out a fingering pattern]: Oh!  Hey.  Wouldn't it be, like, so weird, if there was, like, a couple, and he played violin and she played cello?
Viola: Oh, yeah...
Me: Er - why is that?
Cello: Because, well, a violin is, like, a small instrument... and a cello is so much bigger... and so it would be, just, so weird for the guy to be playing the small one like [high pitched imitation of violin playing, similar to Psycho] and she's all [deep gruff cello imitation].
Violin 1: Even weirder - if the girl plays double bass!
Girls: Whoa!!  That would be ridiculous!!

Of Stairs and Modesty

7-yr-old girl.  Her classroom is on the top floor of a 3-storey building with external stairs.  As we start descending the stairs on the way to her lesson, both of us bend to keep our skirts in place - the wind creates rather a 'Marilyn' effect and our hands rushed to our knees for modesty.

Girl: Ooh, I hate these stairs.  That always happens, and if there are boys behind, they can see our undies!  It's not very ladylike.
Me [smiling]: I agree.  That's not the kind of thing we want happening.
Girl [thoughtful]: Unless... Unless we were in a play, and we had to have that happen...
Me: I suppose...  But I'm not sure that's the sort of play we would really want to be in, do you?
Girl [rather primly]: No.  Of course not.  Not. Very. Ladylike.

Life's Disappointments - Valentine's Day

11-yr-old girl.

Girl: Ooh, I forgot, Happy Valentine's Day.
Me: Thank you!  But, you did wish me happy Valentine's in your last lesson [on Valentine's Day].
Girl [vaguely]: Did I?  Oh... [more energetically] One girl, she was saying to everyone, happy lonely day.  Hmph.  That's so... Ugh.  Well, I wasn't lonely.  I had about 6 people wish me happy Valentine's Day.  No-one gave me anything though.  Not even one little heart-shaped chocolate!!!  I know I shouldn't...
Me: It's not about stuff...
Girl: But, even just a little something would have been nice.  Well, I did get one, but I don't think it counts.
Me: Really?
Girl: Really.  Everyone in the school got the same thing.  It was from ISCF, and it was this little card, and it had in it blah blah blah... happy Valentine's day... blah blah blah... God loves you ... blah blah blah... Boring.  Have you ever had, like, a boyfriend give you a Valentine's day present?
Me [grimace]: Yeah... Um, not that special. [We both smile] Sometimes it's not all it's cracked up to be...
Girl: But, oh, you know, when I'm older and I have a boyfriend, like, when I'm ... 16...  Well, if he doesn't give me anything for Valentine's Day, then - it's off [little smile] - well, unless he has a really good reason.
Me: Like what?  If his... dog ate the card ... or something [she raises eyebrows] and then he just couldn't give it to you because you're worth more than that...?
Girl [gasp]: Awww [She looked really chuffed by this].  ... Have you ever had that happen?
Me: You mean, had a boyfriend who was going to give me a card but it got eaten by his dog so he couldn't give it to me...?
Girl: Yeah...
Me: Er... No...Not... that I'm aware...

Cowbell

8-yr-old boy, whose mum's family is from either Germany or Austria.  I was trying to pick the next piece for him to learn - usually we pick one he's doing in classroom music.  And, if you haven't seen the 'Needs More Cowbell' music video on Youtube, do...

Me: Can you sing me a song you're learning at school?
Boy sings half-heartedly, and I can't really pick the words or the melody.
Boy: Can we do a piece that I can do as a duet, with my mum?
Me: Of course!  That would be great!  Does your mum play violin too?
Boy: Uh-uh.  Cowbell.
Me [suppressing a giggle - see video]: Ah.  Okay.
Boy: Ummm ... Can we learn Edelweiss?
Me: Just a minute [I go through it in my head to see if he'll be able to play the whole thing].  Yes!
Boy: Yay.  I know my mum can play it, too. [He then proceeded to sing it in letternames for me - impressive, but we're in a different key].

I can't wait to hear this cowbell-violin duet, eventually.  His first play of it was not bad at all.

Cana-What?

Last year's Junior Quartet begged to continue, so this year I get to take 2 quartets.  The continuing quartet started their rehearsals this morning.

Me: Does anyone have any requests for pieces you want to do? [A few suggestions were mentioned]
Cello: Oh!  Can we do that Mexican piece?
Me: Which one would that be?
Cello giggles, and tries to sing and play at the same time.
Me: The Mexican Hat Dance?
Girls: Yeah!  Oh yeah, let's do that one!  Can we?
Me: Sure.  You know, Mr B actually has it for string quartet already.  We use it for the mariachi band.
Cello [a bit shocked]: Is he Mexican?
Violin 1: Is he the tall one?
Me: Yes.  And, yes.
Cello: Is he really?! I thought he was from Canadia.
Me [smiling]: Um...
Violin 2: He's - what did you say?!
Cello: Oh NO!  Who says that?!  Where did I even come up with that?!  Oh how embarrassing.

Looking Forward To

Girl in grade 12.  I'm wearing nail polish.  I point to something on her page of music.

Girl: Oh!  Oh!  Guess what I'm looking forward to most about finishing school?
Me: .. umm...
Girl: I know this is weird.  But - nail polish!  I am so looking forward to wearing nail polish, like, all the time.
Me: I know what you mean. ... You realise you'll probably get sick of it in about a month, right?
Girl: Doesn't matter.  I can't wait.

Not So Rockin'

New Junior Quartet started this morning (all grade 5 girls, aged 9-10).  Three of them were in the junior string ensemble (called Vivo) last year, but they're all in the next one up this year, called Corelli.  The following was actually heard in the real time of grade 5 girls, who don't wait for one to finish before jumping in and telling me their own version, but for ease of writing and reading, I've separated them a bit.

Viola:  Oh my goodness, Corelli is so hard!  The music -
Violin 2: It's so much harder than Vivo.
Cello: We're doing this piece, and it's, just, there was this one bar -
Violin 1: I was in it last year... I don't think it's that hard...
Cello: So, this piece has one bar - [general giggling] - no!  I mean, ha - that would be funny, if it was just this one bar for the whole piece -
Viola [demonstrating in a very 'viola' fashion]: blah... blah ... blah ... blah...
Cello: No, I mean, okay, so  - oh, the piece, it's called Rockin' Rondo - which, by the way, it is soooo not rockin' - and...

And after that they got even more distracted with playing different bits of music and having music fall off the stand... etc... etc...

The Blues

8-yr-old girl.  We were looking at a new piece, called "I Got Those Fiddle Blues".

Girl: What does the name mean?
Me: I was just about to ask you!  Do you know what it means if you have the blues?
Girl: Um, you go blue in the face?
Me [laughing]: Ah, no.  Well, probably not.  If you have the blues then you're a bit sad, so when you play this piece it should sound a bit sad, too.

Metronomes

8-yr-old boy is really unenthusiastic about violin (his dad makes him have lessons).  Last week, I said he needed to get acquainted with a metronome - best thing ever.  He loves it, I think because he gets to use his dad's phone, and he uses it every time he practices.  We put it on today, for a Minuet by Bach which has ta = 100-115 at the top.

Boy: I don't know what the hundred means.
Me: See how there's a ta there?  So you put your metronome onto to 100, and that's the same as your ta beat.
Boy: Oh.  [plays a bit] But that's so fast!
Me: Well, as you've only had this piece a week, we could make it a little bit slower.  Let's try 90. [Boy adjusts metronome, and we play a few phrases at that speed.  The opening passage is a bit of a challenge though].
Boy: Oh but it's so fast.  This piece is so hard!
Me: You know, we could put the metronome on even a bit slower.  Your examiner won't have their own metronome on, saying "Ahem, it's meant to be 100 and you're only playing it at 99".  If it was on.. 60... Then they might say it's a bit slow.
[Boy changes tempo to 81.  We play a bit more].
Boy [grinning cheekily]: Good thing we didn't make it 80.  They'd probably say something then.

The Problem Bit

15-yr-old girl is a boarder, from Hong Kong.  During the holidays she has lessons with her teacher over there, who usually gives her some new music.

Me: Which piece do you want to play for me first?
Girl: This one.  It's ... um... well, it's mostly okay.
Me: Mostly?
Girl: Well, it's just ... this bit... [pointing to the whole of the second page].
Me [laughing]: That's half the piece.
Girl [indignant]: But it's so high!  And fast!

On My Holidays - Weird Weather

First week back, and I ask nearly every student how their holidays were.  This conversation was with a 7-yr-old girl, who is still young enough to tell stories in a very dramatic way (one parent I know blames this on the Wiggles).

Me: How was your holiday?
Girl: It was ... SO ... GOOD!!
Me: Ooh - what did you do on your holidays?
Girl: Well... Okay, first, we went to Stradbroke Island for... about 2 weeks ... I think.  Oh, and then we went CAMPING!  It was... It was so cool.
Me: So you pretty much spent the whole holidays outside?
Girl [grinning]: Yep.  Oh, and then we went to Sydney!  For a wedding. 
Me: Oh how exciting.  Did you wear a pretty outfit?
Girl: Yes.  Well.  Um.  Yes.  But - when we were there - it was cold.  It was really strange...
Me: I know what you mean!  I was in Melbourne for a few days, and one day it was 39 degrees-
Girl [shocked]: Whoa!!
Me: -and then the next day it was only 20 degrees.  So I went from really cool clothes to jeans and a jumper.
Girl [slowly]: That is ... So... Weird...

Which One is D?

8-yr-old girl.  Not the most organised child...  Didn't have any time on the holidays to do any practice.  Obviously forgot a few essentials.

Me: Just to check you haven't forgotten too much... [she giggles guiltily] Let's have the D major scale.  [blank look] It's the do re mi- you know, goes up then down one step at a time.  Violin on shoulder.
Girl [sets up her posture relatively nicely]: Ummm - where does it start?
Me: The D major scale is going to start on D.  Do you remember where D is?
Girl [looking awkward]: ummm...
Me [loud whisper]: It's the string second from the left.
Girl [looks awkward]: ummm... which one is the left...?
Me: Oh dear.  Start on this string.

Once she got going, she was fine.  Thank goodness.