Holidays with Five Husbands

I was going to continue the Five Husbands story in order, but as it's holidays...  I received an email from the Five Husbands girl earlier this week.  It finished like this:

I hope you have a safe, healthy and happy holiday with your 5 husbands and I hope you enjoy it.


...So, now I need to find out what sort of occupations these 5 husbands of mine have...

Whoa! Plants

There is a little concrete box-type thing at the front of my house, which serves no real purpose except to separate the car area from the entry area - and as a competition among residents for the artiest display.  In the past, I have had some success with plants in this thing, but not for a while.  For a couple of years, there has been nothing but deadness there (those last plants were definitely not drought tolerant!).  With my regained gardening confidence (see my other blog for more details!), I planted some petunias in the front bit.

This morning, I found my first student - and his mother and grandmother - gawking at the plants.  The student looked up with his mouth half open.

Boy: Whoa... There are... living things here... Plants!  I always know where your place is by the dead plants at the front, this is just too weird.
Me: Yeah, I'm going to water this lot.  You could always count, you know - it's always been the 4th one down.

Andaluza and Tosca

I was working on Andaluza, by Albeniz, with a boy in grade 9.  The ending was a bit blah, so I played it for him.

Me: What do you think of when you hear the ending?
Boy: It sounds like the end of Tosca.
Me: Uh... ok... yeah, I guess so...
Boy: That whole tragedy thing, defeat, like when she throws herself off the parapet.
Me: Did you just see that recently?
Boy: Well, yeah.

Some Tragedy

A boy in grade 9 could play this piece well enough (Lascia ch'io pianga, for those of you playing at home).  But this piece needs much more emotion than just the notes - the title means 'Allow me to Weep', after all.

Me: It needs a bit more tragedy. What's tragic in your life?
Boy: well, today I dissected a brain.

I couldn't go anywhere with that. He won.

Rhythm Something

A 10-yr-old had just played Purcell's Rondeau (from Abdelazar) from memory.  She had played it quite well, except for the rhythm in one particular section, which trips up most students.

Me: What's the rhythm in the C section?
Girl [slightly wary, but still from memory]: Ta...ummm ti slurry.... something something...

Good thing she could play it properly when she had the music in front of her or I would have been really worried.  And depressed.

Hangman

Yesterday's child (with the list of Things to Do in the Lesson) finally got to the end of the list at the end of the next lesson.  I was wanting to go back to the top of the list, but she was quite resistant, and it was the end of the day, and it was practically holidays. She'd also given me a red heart lollipop and practically forced me to eat it.

Girl: So now we're up to fun things!!
Me: Ah, what do you mean by 'fun'?
Girl: You know, like hangman!
Me: Ummm... ok... but it has to be musical hangman. [Using only music letters].
Girl: Ugh, that's so boring.
Me: Ok, musical terms then.
Girl: Ugh, that's still so boring.  How about, it can be a piece of music?

I approved.
She drew on the board:  _ _ _ _ _ _'_    _ _ _ _ _   and told me it was a piece we'd done.

Me: Hedwig's Theme?
Girl [tiny pause]: No.  [I guessed a few more].  No!  And you have to do it properly.

So, I 'guessed' all the letters for theme and she recounted the first word and added one.  Eventually, it turned out to be Lollipop's Theme. 

Me: Um???  I don't know this piece.
Girl: I know!  It was Hedwig's Theme but you guessed it straight away so I had to change it.  And you had a lollipop in your mouth so that's the only thing I could come up with.

Purpose

A 10-yr-old functional first-born was having a double lesson to catch up on one missed.  She came in all business.

Girl: Um, can we, like, have a to-do list and go through that and then, if we get to the end, can we do some fun stuff?
Me: Sure.

The list went something like Scales, Pieces, Exercises, Theory Questions, Pack up, Goodbye, Go!
She wrote the list on the board, really on tippy-toes to reach as high as she could for the first items.

Me: Ok, unpack - I need to see your violin.
Girl [startled]: What?  Oh, right.  Yeah.  That's why I'm here.

Five Husbands - Wedding Dresses

Yes - Sunday is the day for the Five Husbands saga.  By the time this child was in grade 4, I had noticed her fashion ideas were more prominent.  Combined with my inkling that she will be wonderful as a movie director-type person, this following snippet was not a surprise:

Girl: So, what did you do for wedding dresses?  I mean, did you wear the same one or different ones?  Wait.  It just wouldn't be right to wear the same dress for every wedding. 
Me [a bit baffled]: Ummm I guess...
Girl: That would be like saying they're all the same.  You must have worn different ones.  So, there would have been one that puffed out, and another one like a ball gown, and...

I have to admit, I zoned out a bit as she described all her ideas for my wedding dresses.  Maybe, if movie producer isn't where her life takes her, wedding planner might be on the cards.

Bartok's Age

I have an 11-yr-old viola student who does no practice.  This irks me. 

Me [without any hope]: Have you done any practice?
Girl [enthusiastically]: Uh-huh!  And I went through the whole book and found the pieces I want to play.
Me [nearly falling over with shock]: Wow.  Which one first?

The girl picked out the first acceptable one in the book, a duo by Bartok.  Bartok's name and dates (1881 - 1945) are written at the top right of the piece.

Girl: He was really old.
Me: You think so?  How old was he?
Girl [awed]: 121.
Me: ummm... try that again.
Girl: 82.  20.  [tries a few other numbers].
Me: Well, nothing to 45 is 45.  What's 100 minus 81?
Girl: oh... um... [eventually] 19.  Oh! So 45 plus 19... 68.
Me: Ah, try 45 plus 20 minus 1
Girl: 65. 64! Wow.  He was really young.

While I Was Sitting Here

The piece I'm working on with my ensemble is one I've written myself, based on 2 songs they all know really well from school (One, Two, Three and Apple Tree).  Last week, near the end of the rehearsal, one of the viola players put up her hand.

Girl: So, while I was sitting here,  I thought up a rap version, and a jazz version, and an opera version.
Me: Ooh, can I hear them?
Girl: ummm... next week?

This week, I got to hear the 3 different versions.  I wish I could record them and upload it here - the viola player and a friend sang One, Two, Three first as a rap (complete with hand movements), then very seriously for opera (with a bit of vibrato), then a very groovy jazz version, which had us all swaying along and clicking.  I laughed so much my face went red.

If you don't know the song, it goes like this:

One,       two,        three
so           la            so
 
John-ny caught a  flea
so     so    la     la  so

Flea       died,       John-ny cried
so          mi           so     so   mi

One,      two,        three
so          mi            do

Espressivo e Tranquillo

I was talking terms with a 10-yr-old today (in Seitz's Concerto No. 2, Third Movement, for those of you playing at home).

Me: What does espressivo e tranquillo mean?
Girl: Oh.  We talked about this last week....
Me: Espressivo...?
Girl: Oh!  Um.. sounds like... Expressive!
Me: Yes!  [very pleased that she didn't say 'espresso' like last week].  E?
Girl: And!
Me: Yes! Tranquillo?
Girl: Nnnnnno idea. [I start miming, like I'm smoothing something].  Oh, flat? boring?
Me: Chop the -lo and you get the word tranquil.  Do you know what that means? [girl shakes head]. Calm... peaceful... like a calm lake.  So how are you going to play expressively? [girl shrugs].  Keep using that lovely vibrato [hers is coming along beautifully] and lots of dynamics.
Girl: But how can you play expressively and calmly?

I played the passage expressively and agitato, then again expressively but with far less accentuation from the bow.

Girl: Oh yeah!  It does sound like a lake!

Pajama Party

I'd just collected my 9am student this morning, and we could see 2 little people (Prep or grade 1) approaching. 

Girl [quietly]: It looks like they're wearing pajamas.
Me [also quietly]: Yep. 
Little people [not quietly at all, but quite excited]: We're having a pajama party in our classroom!!!!

We walked on a bit.

Girl [normally]: I wish we could have a pajama party.  That would be the best.  I did come to school one day in my pajamas.  It was a sports day and I just pulled my sports uniform on over my pajamas and it wasn't until later that I realised they were shorts under there.  It was very comfy, though.  ... Ooh, I'd love for the whole school uniform to be made out of pajamas... Although that would probably mean I'd be falling asleep when I was meant to be doing my work.  Maybe this is for the best, then.

Star Mash

Working on a new piece with a 10-yr-old girl today.  Its title is 'Starmash'.

Me: What do you think the title means?
Girl: You take a star [she mimes] and then you mash it [squishes it in her hand] and then you can eat it, like potato mash!  I mean - um - mash potato.  Mashed potato.  Sorry.  Mashed potato but out of stars.

Cooking with Five Husbands

After the initial Five Husbands thing, that child would occasionally ask me - in that gossipy tone of voice:  Sooo.... how are your five husbands??? 
And my reply would usually be along the lines of: Hm, they're fine...

Until one day, when I was feeling daring.

Girl: Sooo.. How are your five husbands???
Me: They're fine.  But I wish they'd learn to cook more.  It's so boring right now!  Just soups and stirfries [guess what I'd been cooking all that term...]
Girl:  Ooh, you could give them each a cookbook.  Or, make them watch cooking shows.  If you have each of them watch a different cooking show, then you can have a different style each time one of them cooks.  That would be much more interesting.

Mothers

After ensemble, there was a mum sitting on the bench outside the room.  There were a few girls hanging around in the rehearsal room, and I wanted to check that the mum wasn't waiting for one of them.

Me: Is that anyone's mum?
Girl 1: No... My mum has short hair.  Like, really short hair.
Me: Yeah, I knew it wasn't your mum.
Girl 2: Well, it's not my mum.
Me: I knew it wasn't your mum either, really.
Girl 2: How do you know what my mum looks like?  You haven't seen my mum, have you?
Me: Yes I have, at our performances.
Girl 2: Well, what does she look like?
Me: Like a taller, older version of you.  With shorter hair.
Girl 2: No she doesn't!
Girls 1, 3 &4: Yes.  Yes, she does.

Existential Angst

...or, audition prep.

One of my grade 12s - who I've taught, like, forever - had an audition on Thursday.  Once she'd played me her pieces in her lesson on Wednesday, I had to decide if I should make her work on them a lot more, or accept where they (and she) were at, and talk brain.  We talked brain.  Part of the conversation went like this:

Me: If you want to work in the arts, be warned - you'll have many years of existential angst.
Girl: ummm?
Me: You know, when you think you should be a lawyer or a doctor, or something that really helps people.
Girl: Well, music helps people.

Yay!  My work is done.  If only more people recognised this fact.
And, as an added bonus, this girl was offered a place in this course straight away.  Very proud teacher.

Rehearsal Alphabet

Currently, my ensemble is working on a piece that has rehearsal letters up to H.  Last week, we had several cases of me saying, play from C, and half the group playing from E (for example).  One girl tried to work out a Letter for Animal alphabet.  This week, she'd got a working list up to H.  While choosing a sticker afterwards, she told me what they were:

A is for Ant
B is for Bee (B is?  yes, for Bee, as in, you know, a Bee - for reduction of confusion, this might turn into B is for Bumblebee)
C is for Cat
D is for Dog
E is for Elephant
F is for Frog
G is for Giraffe
H is for Hippo

I hope I can remember all these next week!  I'm curious what 'I' would be...

Group Photos

Today was group photos day at school.  One of those days when I really love my job.  Looking through the photos to put the names in order, so many of them made me smile.  The actual photos were taken in the middle of a courtyard, with no shade.  Several comments, thrown here and there:

Girl seated in front row: It's nice and shady here.
Me: That's because the people standing behind you are providing you with shade.
Girl: Yeah, I like being short.

Girl: I know it looks like I'm shorter, but honestly, I'm taller, I promise.
Me:  Well you better stand up really straight, then.
Girl [extending her neck as tall as it will go]: See?!

Photographer [to me]: Which side are you going to stand on? 
Me:You're making me pick a side?
Girls, waving hands in the air and wearing biggest winning smiles: Pick this side, this one!!!

Sleepover Antics

I asked a 9-yr-old about her weekend. 

Girl: No... nothing exciting... oh wait! We had my birthday party at Laserforce and it was so much fun!!!  ... Oh, and then we had a sleepover.  Same people as last time, too [grins].
Me: Were there any midnight feasts this time?
Girl: Yes, but we accidentally fell asleep.  We had a bowl of cinnamon sugar, and we were putting tiny bits of it on our tongue to stay awake, but it didn't work.  We fell asleep at about 10:30 then woke up at 4 for the midnight feast.  Next time, we might use a teaspoon each time for the sugar.

She then listed all the foods they had eaten at the midnight feast.  Snakes, chocolate, and roll-ups!  We both love roll-ups, and both have mothers who wouldn't/won't buy them.  Other means required.

French is a Silly Language

I'm not a fan of French, despite it having wormed its way into my brain.  French has so many letters they just ignore - hm.  So, I started Purcell's Rondeau (from Abdelazar) with a 10-yr-old girl by saying, "French is a silly language".

Girl (indignant): Oh!  That's not nice!
Me: Well, how would you pronounce the title of this piece?
Girl (slowly): Ronnnn-deeee-ay-oooo...?
Me: Yeah, it's pronounced 'rondo'.
Girl: Well, that's silly.
Me: Exactly.

Five Husbands

This is the beginning of quite a saga.  In 2008, I was teaching a girl in grade 2, still 7 years old but nearly 8.  She was unpacking, and I was writing something in her notebook. 

Girl: um, Miss M?  Are you married?
Still looking down, I held up my left hand, to indicate the absence of a wedding ring.
Girl [incredulous]: You have five husbands?!?! You must do a lot of cooking!!!
It was probably a couple of minutes before I could stop laughing and explain to her that most people, when married, wear a wedding ring on their ring finger, and by showing her that I wasn't wearing any rings, it means I'm probably not married. 

It didn't work though.  Since then, she has been working on My Life With Five Husbands.  Which is far more interesting than my actual life.

How Hard is Grade 6?

A girl in grade 9 (14 years old?) asked me if she does violin exams, does that really help her OP?  Yes...from next year.  She did a grade 5 exam last year, and was a little disappointed that wouldn't count.  She was quite happy that she just had to pass the exams, not get an A.  Looks like we're back to doing violin exams. 

Me: We should start grade 6 material now, then.
Girl: [shakes head vigorously]
Me: Yes.  [I then explained timing of exams, won't bore you with that here].
Girl: But.... won't it be hard?
Me: [sigh].  Let's have a look, shall we?  [I pick up the newest grade 6 book].  A major.  Not that hard.  Goes a bit high, but you can cope?
Girl: [nods]
Me: Good.  Next one.  Just arpeggios.
Girl: wah?!
Me: You can cope.  Next.  Oh look.  The first movement of Eine Kleine - which I know you can already play.  [girl nods].  Next.  Fantasia on Greensleeves.
Girl: Oh, I did the solo part for that last year in orchestra.
Me: Yep.  Exactly the same.  Next. 
Girl: Agh!  No!  Too many flats!
Me: hmmm... Next.  Ooh, Csardas.  [I sing the main bits - admittedly, a bit on the fast side]
Girl: Oh, it's just like Hungarian Dance!
Me: Yes. 
Girl: But it's so nnnnnnn-nnnnnnn-nnnnnnn [don't know how else to transcribe that - that's what she sounded like, though].
Me: Well, it's not really that fast... Just move your fingers and bow a bit fast and you'll be fine. 
Girl: Can we do Greensleeves first?

And then she proceeds to play it perfectly, the first time.  I guess grade 6 isn't so unattainable after all.

Class Excursion

I'd just collected this 8-yr-old boy from his class, and we were walking to his lesson.

Boy: Did you know my class is going on excursion soon?
Me: No, where are they going?
Boy: Ummmm.... I'm not sure.  I'm going to Germany, but they get to go on excursion.
Me: I think you got the better deal here.
Boy (starts giggling): Yeah...

The Riot

A new piece in ensemble.  A very messy bit, which shouldn't be.

Me: Violins and violas go ti-ti ta ti-ti ta, cellos and double bass ti-ti ti-ti ti-ti ta, violins and violas ti-ti ti-ti ta cellos and double bass ti-ti ti-ti everyone ti-ti ta.
9-yr-old (enthusiastically): So, it's like we're having a riot!
Me: Ah, yes, I guess it is a bit...
Another 9-yr-old: Ooh, and our bows are like guns and we can shoot everyone and-
Me: Let's not go nuts. 

Sore Face

I passed one of my 9-yr-old girls emerging from sick bay with an ice pack held to her face.  What happened?
" I slipped, and hit my face on the bench.  Now it hurts to talk because I've got an extra bit of fat there".

Casket Case

The quartet girls all unpack their instruments on the desks.  Packing away her cello, the 9-yr-old said:  It's like a casket.  So, it's like I'm having a funeral.  For my cello.  Awww, so sad.

And all 4 of them start singing the Imperial March from Star Wars.

Psycho/Psychic

Handing out stickers to my string ensemble students.  The next girl's folder has green and silver stars around the name tag, with silver at either end.
9-yr-old girl: Could I... please... have.... ummm...
Me: ...a green star?
9-yr-old, indignantly: How did you know that?! You're not psycho!
Me, laughing: Ah - do you mean psychic...?
9-yr-old, startled: Oh!  Yes.  Sorry.