Eye Stuff

8-yr-old girl: Wow, you look really pretty today.  The skirt, the top, the shoes... earrings, lipstick... (touches her eyes while looking up at me)
Me: Mascara...?
Girl: No... you know, the purple stuff.
Me: That's not eyeshadow, I'm just really tired!

Mistake Face

In quartet this morning, we were having some timing issues.  We'd almost got it sorted out, but Violin 1 kept coming in too soon.  We played it again, and she still came in early.  I shook my head, and she did that wide smile with eyebrows raised in the 'I made a mistake but please forgive me' face.

Cello: She always does that face when she makes a mistake.  But when we make a mistake, she does that face.

This was accompanied by imitations of facial expressions - priceless.  Icing on the cake: at the end of the piece (Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies), cellist sneezed in time with the music. 

Henry Purcell

A bit of general knowledge at the end of a lesson today.  10-yr-old girl, Rondeau.  Pronunciations done a bit more phonetically...

Me: Who composed this piece?
Girl: Henry- wait.  Is it the arranger, or the composer?  Mary Co-hen or Henry Prewcell?
Me: Who do you think the composer is?
Girl: Henry... Prewcell.
Me: Try again.
Girl: Prercell
Me: Purcell
Girl: Oh!  There's no r before the u. 
Me: Where's he from?
Girl [quickly, like she's in a trivia game]: Spain! Argentina! [I couldn't help but start laughing here] Brazil!  ... Oh wait... France!  Oh yeah, Spanish is a different language.... Brazil!
Me [loudly, slowly]: Hen...ry...
Girl: Paris?
Me: Paris isn't a country.  Henry.  Where would a Henry live?  Henry?
Girl [puzzled]: England...? [I nod] England?!  But that's so normal!

I figured out that her confusion was stemming from the title of the piece, which is in French (this is the same child who agreed that French is a silly language) and it has a subtitle 'From the Moor of Abdelazar' and I must have explained at some point the Moorish reference.  That was the end of general knowledge for today, I couldn't risk any more.

Five Husbands - Living Logistics

The girl who thinks I have five husbands (by this stage, age 10) sat down right next to me.  This was the first time I think she had actually thought about how this whole Five Husbands thing would work.

Girl [thoughtfully]:  So... that must be a really awkward living situation.  Wouldn't they all get jealous and fight over you...because you're so beautiful?
Me: ... Ummm...
Girl [picking up my left hand, and much more in charge]: Oh, and you should have 5 rings, one on each finger.
Me: But that would make it really hard to play the violin.
Girl [in that 10-yr-old girl knowing way]: Five husbands.  Five rings.

Four-Way Caps

8-yr-old boy, packing up his violin, sees his cap on the floor by the case.

Boy: Oh, I can't forget my cap.  It's new - and it's a four-way cap.  See, you can wear it this way [brim at the front, shade at the back] or this way [reverses it so he can just see out the little crescent].  Or this way [flips it so the shade bit is not hanging, but tucked inside, and the brim at the front again].  Or... hmmm... oh yeah, or this way [pulls the brim to the side, so he looks like a Cool Kid].

Big grin.

Best Friends and Alien Sounds

As I help out the grade 3 strings, I know what they're doing in class and what their goals are.  One of the pieces for the end-of-year concert is Lucy Locket, a piece they all know from classroom music last year.  It uses the sol-fa so, la and mi.  So to la is a step (they are only aware of major 2nds, or tones, at this point), and so to mi is a skip.  The class strings teacher has them starting with (for violin) 3rd finger on D (G) for so.  With this particular child, we'd played it in her lesson just like in class.  Then we got creative, and played it starting on open A.

Me: Now we're going to go back to starting on 3.  Instead of doing open A for la, though, what do you think we could do instead?
Girl: Ummm... could we use... [face scrunched up like this answer couldn't possibly be correct] 4th finger on the ... D string...?
Me [thrilled she worked this out without any prodding]: Yes!  Now, you know that 1 and 2 are not great friends... [girl nods] and 2 and 3 are best friends [girl nods] - what do you think about 3 and 4?  Will they be best friends or need a gap?
Girl [knowingly]: They'll need a gap.  You can only have one best friend.
Me: Good point.  You know another way we can tell?  If we put out 4th finger right next to our 3rd finger, it would make Lucy Locket sound like this: [I sing the beginning with a very squished up so and la]
Girl [laughing like this is the stupidest thing she's heard all day]: That's terrible!  It sounds like alien sounds!

I am pleased to report that her Lucy Locket sounded right, right from the start.

Parents

I often send my students a recording of me playing what they need to practice.  I'd promised this 11-yr-old girl that I'd send her the new piece, but hadn't.  At the time of her lesson, there was the sound of a cello lesson 10m down the hall, and a violin practising on the other side of the wall (coming through loud and clear).

Me: I know I said I'd send you the recording, but you can hear how ... 'quiet' ... it is here, and there's construction happening next door at home, and my parents were staying... There was just ... no quiet time.
Girl [knowingly]: Oh... Parents... [then, in much the same way parents talk about their kids] They grow up so quickly, don't they???

One Shoe On...

Packing up after this morning's quartet rehearsal, I was discussing tuning with the cellist.  And then I realised she was wearing only one shoe.

Me: Ah... Do you realise you've lost a shoe?
Cello: Oh, I haven't lost it, it just hurts my foot to have it on.  So I took it off.  [sigh] I guess I better put it back on so I don't look like a crazy person for the rest of the day...

The Rite of Spring

I arrange a lot of the music for the quartet I take at school.  About September, I'm usually out of ideas, and ask the girls what they would like to play.  Last year, we had this conversation:

Violin 2: Ooh, ooh, can we do The Rite of Spring???  Please???
Me [a bit stunned]: Um, really?  You want to do The Rite of Spring?
Violin 2 [excited]: Yeah!
Me [incredulous]: The Rite of Spring?!  Starts with a bassoon solo?  [I sing a little bit].
Violin 2 [very confused expression on her face]
Me: Very cool rhythms? chum chum chum chum chum chum chum chum chum chum... ? [If you're unfamiliar with this piece, find it on Youtube]  ...Stravinsky?
Violin 2 [even more confused, if that were possible]
Me [the penny dropping]: Oh wait, do you mean Spring?  Vivaldi's Spring?  Da da da da da-da daaaa?
Violin 2 [a look of such relief on her face]: Yeah!  That's the one!  My dad plays classical music all the time in the car, and I love this piece!

Needless to say, we did a super easy version.

Five Husbands - A Date

Walking back to class with the girl who thinks I have five husbands (8 years old at the time).  There is quite a breeze, and she is a little obsessed with my hair and me having it out instead of always pulled back.  With my hair out, the breeze causes the windswept look, and I hear the following:

Girl: Ooh, you look like a movie star... You know, you should bring your favourite husband here for a romantic evening...
Me: ...I have a favourite husband?
Girl: Mm, Tim.... Light some candles, cook his favourite meal... You'd be wearing a pretty dress... [I admit - I zoned out a bit for the description of what I was wearing - sorry.  But I came right back when I heard the next bit] ... And he'd have his dark curly hair blowing in the breeze, his shirt partly unbuttoned -
Me: What?!  How old are you???  Does your mother know what you've been watching? 

At least there's a bit of romance in her imaginary version of my life.  Nevermind the whole idea of bringing a husband for a date to school!

Biggest Loser

I have a fit ball in my living room, which is possibly the most popular item in my house.  One Saturday morning, I had this conversation with a 7-yr-old - possibly the longest sentence I'd heard him say.

Boy: Um, Anna?
Me: Yes?
Boy: Were you on The Biggest Loser?
Me: Ah... no... [????? What are you saying??? - oh wait, it's a Biggest Loser brand fit ball] NO - I mean, no.  I bought that at a supermarket.  I had a choice of that one or some girly pink thing.
Boy: [Doesn't look convinced.  Thanks a lot, kid]

Perfume and Chin Rests

I was tuning the violin of an 11-yr-old.  When I gave it back, she sniffed the chin rest.

Me: [raised eyebrows]
Girl: Just checking...
Me: Mmm?
Girl: Sometimes, when Ms T tunes my violin... well, she wears perfume and it's really strong and you can smell it on the chin rest.  Yours though - it's much nicer, not nearly as strong.
Me: Oh... good... It could be worse though [thinking of past teachers who were smokers, or with old coffee oozing from their pores]
Girl: Yeah, it could be cologne.  Yerk.

Vampire

Start of today's rehearsal, setting up.

9-yr-old girl: Oh wow, you're so white!
Me: Umm, yes... You've only just noticed?
Girl:Well, yes but you're really white!  I mean, normally your top would be down here [she pulls my sleeve past my elbow] but today we can see your elbow [putting my sleeve back where it was before].
10-yr-old girl: Ah - you realise you just called her a vampire?!


9-yr-old checked later that I wasn't offended by what she'd said.  Considering the fact that she's just as pale as me, I wasn't - merely amused.

Lamington Cupcakes

One of my grade 3 girls is very sweet... But oh boy can she talk!  From the time she steps out of her classroom - and sometimes even before this - she is talking.  I have to actually tell her to stop talking and play when I've asked her (between the flood of words) to do something. 

Today's flood started like this:

Me: Hello!  How are you?
Girl: Good... I practiced this morning!  Oh and on Saturday mum and I did some baking, we made cupcakes but they weren't like normal cupcakes they were like lamingtons because my sister doesn't really like lamingtons unless they're the ones with jam inside...
Me: ooh they are yummy
Girl: Yeah but my sister doesn't really like the normal ones so we made cupcakes that were just normal but they had chocolate topping and then we dipped them in coconut but maybe next time we should do them with jam because jam makes everything better... Except maybe soup.

And this just got us half-way to the lesson.

Killer Cellist

I take a quartet of 10-yr-old girls.  The cellist got a larger cello over the holidays, one which is her own (not a school instrument), and when in its case on her back, it protrudes just above her head.  We were dealing in stickers after the rehearsal this morning.

Cello takes the sheet of stickers but drops it.  Her cello is on her back - as she bends down to pick up the stickers, she takes out Violin 1 and Viola.  I look up to see Violin 1 rubbing her forehead, Viola reeling and holding her head.  Cello is horrified by what she's done, apologises, and we all check that everyone is okay. 

Cello hadn't actually picked up the stickers, so she warns everyone: Okay everyone, watch out - I'm going down again.

Incident-free this time, barring all the giggles.

Later, I saw Cello just after her lesson. 

Me: How's the new cello going?
Cello: Good... Except the tuning. 
Me: Your hands will get used to it.
Cello: Well, it's more that the case is a soft case, so if I knock it at all...
Me: Like when taking out the rest of your quartet...?
Cello: Um, yeah.... It just goes out of tune so quickly!

Camp Results

10-yr-old girl was on camp from Wednesday to Friday last week.

Me: Did you do lots of practice?
Girl [with That Awkward Look on her face]: Well, I did lots before camp.  After camp... Maybe not so much.
Me: Is that a 'no' to after camp?
Girl: Kinda...  [holding up her forearm] Check it out!  I got attacked by a leech!  It poisoned me and everything.  Apparently, it was a very rare type of leech.
Me: Ooh.  So do you feel special?
Girl: Totally.

Squashed Tomato

With a grade 4 girl, we'd been working on an ostinato and writing it on the board.  Later, I was teaching a grade 2 girl.

Girl [giggling]: Squashed tomato...
Me: Ah - what?
Girl [still giggling]: Squashed tomato... okay, os-ti-na-to, but we call them squashed tomatoes.
Me: Oohhh.

And then we made up one of our own.

Sleepyhead

Walking through the playground, I could see 2 girls from my ensemble.  Girl 1 waved vigorously (think someone drowning in the surf) and ran over; Girl 2 followed less energetically.  I don't use their names here - obviously they didn't refer to each other as girl 1 and girl 2.

Girl 1: Mrs M!  Mrs M!  Mrs M!
Me: Hello!
Girl 1: Um, just to let you know. 
[Girl 2 starts nodding her head to the side].
Girl 1: Girl 2 is having some medication...
[Girl 2 tucks her hands under her chin in sleeping fashion].
Girl 1: ...for her teeth...
[Girl 2 starts miming snoring; I try not to laugh]
Girl 1: ...and it's -
[Girl 2 starts snoring]
Girl 1:  - what?  [giggles] - oh yeah, it's making her sleepy.  So we don't know how she'll be this afternoon.
Girl 2:  Yeah, I might be falling asleep, but I'll try to stay awake!

Thirds

A grade 9 girl, learning a new piece.  In 4th position, her fingers were not quite sure of their spacing.

Me: What's that interval? [C-E]
Girl: 3.
Me: Ahem.
Girl: A third.
Me: Better.  What sort of a third?
Girl: Minor.
Me: Um, why?
Girl: Because it sounds really creepy.
Me: Ooh.  [I played it an octave lower]  How about then?
Girl, very confused: Major.  Definitely.  Not creepy at all.

[In case you're not sure - C to E is a major third]

Boring Holidays

First day back at school today.  I spotted one of the girls who's in my ensemble as she was coming back from a piano lesson.  Big smiles.

Me: How are you?
Girl: Good!
Me: How was your holiday?
Girl: Good! ... Okay... [a bit flatter] Well, boring.
Me: Oh.  [hopefully] But you did lots of practice, right?
Girl: Yes! [flatter] A bit... [even flatter] Well, no.
Me: I'm going to take that last answer as the most correct, yes?
Girl [sigh]: Yes.

Ornaments

Working on a piece (Purcell's Rondeau from Abdelazar) with this 10-yr-old girl - she can play it quite well, for the most part, but it's lacking a few (vital) elements.

Me: There are just a couple of things now to make it really good.  Do you know what they might be?
Girl: Well, I don't know if you were thinking of this... You probably weren't... But I thought it would sound, like, way awesome-er if with this note you went like this [demonstrates - instead of a ta A with 3 on the E string, she played 3-4-3, like a mordent].
Me: So, ornamented?
Girl [with that "my teacher's saying weird words again" look on her face]: I don't know what that is.
Me: Well, do you know what an ornament is?
Girl: Yeah - like those little annoying things you have - well, not you, but some people - have around the house for no reason.
Me: Um, yes, to make it not boring but pretty, not so plain... Same thing here.  It's called an ornament because it's making the note less plain.
Girl: Okay, but am I allowed to do it?
Me: Of course!

Five Husbands - Age Logic

I mentioned to the girl who thinks I have five husbands that the new string teacher and I went to the same school, and that teacher was a year or 2 older than me. 

 

Girl: Okay... how old are you? 

Me: How old do you think I am? 

Girl: 15? 

Me: How would I have 5 husbands? I'm pretty sure that's illegal. 

Girl: oh...50? 

Me: (glare) 

Girl: 20? 

Me: That's a better number, let's stay there.

The Stopped Clock

There is a clock in my living room, made by my brother, which no longer works.  My 11-yr-old viola student noticed this morning.

Girl: Um... is that? ... does that.. is that clock right?
Me: Well, twice a day.
Girl: What? Oh.  You should get it fixed.  It's really nice. 
Me: Yeah, my brother made it.  The mechanism needs repairing.
Girl: You should give it to him for Christmas.
Me: Oh that's really nice.  Here's something that's ... actually yours anyway...
Girl: Yeah, it totally works, and you didn't make it.  That's what I'd do to my sister.
Me: Isn't she little though?  Your poor sister.
Girl [with that serious tone suggesting a History]: She'll live.

Wavy Hair

Discussing hair with a girl of about 9.  She was a bit obsessed with my hair all that year.

Girl: So, do you like straight hair or curly hair?
Me: Well, because I have straight hair I've always wanted curly hair.
Girl [with raised eyebrow]: You have wavy hair, not straight hair. 
Me: No, it's really pretty straight...
Girl: No it's not.  So, my hair is a bit wavy especially when it's been up all day for ballet.

Then followed a discussion on loose curls, tight curls, and hair straighteners, and ballet hairstyles.  We also had a bit of violin in that lesson, I promise.

Latin

I asked a boy in grade 8 what made him passionate, as his piece was rather bland.  (He shrugged his shoulders, as 13-yr-old boys tend to do).

Me: There must be something!
Boy [shrugging]: Aihunno [I think - 'I dunno']
Me: Come on, you're 13 - what do you really want?
Boy [clearly]: Well, I really want to learn Latin.  But it's not offered at school.  I keep asking though.
Me: Well, take that passion [yes, for Latin] and put it into this piece.

And he did.

Earrings

This girl (about 9 years old) looked at me carefully one day, while I was tuning her violin.  I always find it disconcerting when kids start staring at my ears.

Girl:  You know, you always wear different earrings.
Me: Uh-huh.
Girl: And they always match your outfit!

For a couple of years, I thought this particular child was a bit slow.  Turns out she just never practiced.

White Shoes

An 8-yr-old.  Outfits.  Shoes (mine were off-white flats that day).

Girl:  Ooh, I like your shoes!
Me: Thank you.
Girl: I have a pair just like them.  Well, except mine are a different sort of white.  Oh, and mine have a bow at the front.  And mine look more satin-y.  Oh, and mine are smaller of course.
Me: So what you're saying is, you also have a pair of white-ish flat shoes?
Girl: Exactly.

Siblings - Almost

A 5-yr-old, in one of her first lessons, had her fingers all squished up on her bow.  In an effort to give them a bit of breathing room, I asked:

Me: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Girl [with a look of 'surely you know this']: Well... yes... but they're still in mummy's tummy.

I should point out that her mother was about 8 months pregnant with twin boys at the time.