Five Husbands - Sneak Peak (2)

The sneak peak for next year had a second part (you can see the first bit here).  I was already reeling from the projected turn of events, and my jaw had no doubt dropped.  But she continued.

Girl:  ...and... [a bit excited]... next year... you're going to have a child!  [Eyes very wide]  And she's going to be [voice drops for maximum impact] just - like - me!
Me: [splutter]
Girl [normally, back to excited]: Isn't that great?! 
Me: I- I'm not sure that I'm ready to have kids so soon...
Girl [matter-of-fact]: So, you have to start thinking of names.

Agh!

The Giraffe Joke

At this point, I was teaching a girl of 7.  Her 5-yr-old sister was always in the lesson as well (very well-behaved).  Neither girl was particularly tall - the younger one was about as tall as my navel.  At the end of this lesson, the little one gave me a hug (fairly standard procedure), and, still with her arms wrapped around me, looked up.

Girl: Miss Anna, do you know why giraffes have such long necks?
Me [smiling at the irony]: No... why do giraffes have such long necks?
Girl [starting to giggle]: Because... because they have smelly feet!!!

Five Husbands - Sneak Peak (1)

Straight after telling me I had no feelings, the girl who thinks I have five husbands offered me this.

Girl: So, do you want a sneak peak for next year?  [I nod, possibly a little nervously]. Okay.  So [very serious expression on her face] ... one of them is going to risk his life for you.  [Not so serious now] And two of them... Andrew and Harry... will get sick of sharing you, and they'll turn gay and get together. 

Yeah, cos that's totally how it works.

Favourite Food

I asked a 6-yr-old what her favourite food was (we needed a rhythm for a particular piece).

Girl [thoughtful]: Ooh... Um... Chocolate sundae.
Me: Yum, what do you like in your chocolate sundae?
Girl [quite animated]: Ice cream... and chocolate sauce... and nuts... and whipped cream... oh, and a strawberry on top.  [knowledgeably] Strawberry is a fruit, so it's healthy!

I kind of choked, trying not to laugh too much.

Chords, Continued

Last week, I introduced this 8-yr-old to the delights of squished diminished chords.  Today we took it a bit further.

Me: You play the fa, and I'll play the ti and re.  [We play these all together].  Now, how does that sound?
Girl [grinning, with a look of delight]: Scary!!
Me: You know, if we just add one more note, it can sound really different.  This time, I'm still going to play the ti and re.  You still play the fa, but can you play the so - the open D - at the same time?
Girl [with 'are you sure about this?' written all over her face]: Okay...
Me [once we've played, and her face registers delight all over again]: So? How does that sound?
Girl [still grinning]: Really happy!!

We then played that chord (dominant 7th) followed by its resolution, G major.  She was rather excited that it sounded so finished.

A Diminished Chord

On Monday, I was working on a new piece with an 8-yr-old.  We'd already sorted out the second fingers.  A little phrase kept repeating itself, C-A-F# (2 - open - 2).  I said that could form a chord, and had her play the C while I played the A and F#.

Me: What do you think it sounds like?
Girl: Umm...
Me: Do you think it sounds happy?
Girl: Not really.  But it's not really sad, either.  More... just... squished.
Me [smiling]: True... Do you think it sounds spooky at all?
Girl [squishing up her face, in that 'what is my teacher on about?' look]: Ah... I guess...

One thing I enjoy about teaching, is the new perspective brought to musical theory.  Having had ideas and concepts drilled into my brain for years, hearing new ideas from someone new to the concept is refreshing.

Duet Eyes

Last lesson for the year with a 15-yr-old girl, and we were playing duets.  She was playing the top part, and when we got to the top of the second page, she just... stopped.

Girl: Agh!  I mean... what?
Me: Um... we're up to here [pointing to page 2]
Girl: Oh!  I know!  I mean... my eyes... just... forgot how to go on.  Sorry. 

Mrs N

I took over my ensemble this year as the former conductor was on maternity leave.  I'm of average height, dark brown hair, and not pregnant (fairly fit, in fact).  The other teacher (Mrs N) is about the same height, light blonde hair, and was rather pregnant when she left to have her baby.  Occasionally, a child would slip up and call me Mrs N instead of Miss M.  One child just couldn't get her brain to change though.

Girl [distracted]: Mrs N...?
Me:.... Ummm....
Girl [suddenly coming to]: Oh!  Mrs... Mrs... Miss... Miss M?!
Me [smiling]: Yes, J?
Girl: I'm so sorry.  I just... I keep calling you Mrs N!
Me: Yeah, I noticed.  But that's okay.  I'll just start calling you... Annabelle... every time you call me Mrs N.  There are enough of them in this group.
Girl [giggling]: Okay... So, Mrs N...
Me [I can't believe this happened right away!]: Yes, Annabelle? [All the actual Annabelles congregate upon hearing their name]
Girl: Oh no!  I did it again!  I mean, Miss M...?
Me: Yes, J?
Girl [looking down]: Oh... Wait.  I can't remember what I was going to say...
Annabelles: Which one of us do you want?  What do you need?
Me: Oh, nothing.  It's just when someone calls me Mrs N I'll call them Annabelle. 
Annabelles: Even F? [the only boy in the group]
Me: Yes, even F.

Cue riotous giggles.

Second Fingers Sorted

Looking at a new piece with an 8-yr-old.

Me: What's the key signature?
Girl: C..No, F sharp.
Me: So, wh-
Girl: Do is G.
Me: Good... How are you going to do the first note?  High two or low?
Girl: Um... [thinks a bit]... High!
Me: Why? [this often makes them change their mind, regardless of whether or not they're correct]
Girl: Because it's a mi.
Me [delightfully surprised]: Yes!  How about on the D string?
Girl [slight thinking pause]: High.  Because it's a ti.
Me: A string?
Girl [takes a little while, I think she's thinking up the G major scale from the open G]: Low.  Because it's a fa, and fa is best friends with mi.

Yay!

Five Husbands - Mental State

The girl who thinks I have five husbands looked at me, like she had a really serious question to ask me.

Girl: Um... Do you think I'm crazy?
Me: No.  You are very imaginative, though...
Girl: But do you think I'll end up in a mental... you know...?
Me: Mental asylum?  I doubt it.  But anyone can.  I think I would be more likely to end up in a mental asylum than you are.
Girl: Why?
Me: You know... the whole two lives thing... five husbands...?
Girl: But we both know that you do have five husbands.  And anyway, you have no feelings!
Me: Ouch!

I don't think she meant that in a mean way - it certainly didn't come across that way when she said it.  I would take it as a compliment, actually, in that I don't have very changeable moods as a teacher, but keep it a bit more professional.  Despite hearing all about my love life from an 11-yr-old.

The Chatterbox (2)

At the end of the last ensemble for the year, this 9-yr-old girl approached me.

Girl: So... [matter-of-fact] You must be happy you don't have to deal with us any more.
Me [smiling]: Actually, I really enjoy taking this group.  It is a lot of fun.
Girl [in that awkward way*]: Umm... Yeah.  What I really meant was, you must be happy you don't have to deal with C the Chatterbox anymore.
Me: Umm ......... Yes.  [Entertaining as this kid is, there's only so much rehearsing one can do with that level of chatter].


*That awkward way of showing, I was trying to be tactful, but now you're going to make me come right out and say it, aren't you?!

Feet

Quartet rehearsal this morning.  Just beginning, and the cellist starts trying to play and untie her right shoelace at the same time. 

Cello: Agh!  It's just... um... agh... too hot... agh... [shoe comes off]  Oh, can I go, like, really quickly, to the bathroom?  Please?
Me: Be really quick.  [cello gets up] Do you realise you've...
Cello: Yep.  I'm going to be really quick so no-one sees me looking like a dork.
Viola [giggling]: That looks so weird.  But it's kinda like me.  I sleep that way.
Me: With one shoe...?
Viola: No, with one foot under the covers and the other one out.
Violin 1: I often sleep with both feet out.
Viola: Yeah, my mum says I've done this, like, forever.  Unless it's really hot, and then I'm just, like, [thrashes around in her chair] AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!! and both feet stay out.
Cello [returning, all business]: Okay, I don't think anyone saw me.  [everyone's looking at her].  What?

This is not the first One Shoe On episode from this cellist.  I found out at the end that she has an ingrown toenail, which is why she keeps wanting that shoe off.

Viola Clef

11-yr-old viola student picked out a new piece.  A bit more advanced than her previous pieces, it included a treble clef.

Girl [pointing]: What's that?!
Me: That's a treble clef, you know about these.  You see them in music at school.
Girl: But what's it doing in my music???
Me: Well, it's just to stop us using, like, fifteen ledger lines.
Girl: But I just want the back-to-front three.
Me [slowly]: Vi-o-la clef.
Girl [stubbornly]: Back-to-front three.
Me: Viola clef.
Girl [posh voice]: Well, it might be ... that... in fancy-pants language, but I call it the back-to-front three.
Me: Vi-o-la clef.  Um... How do you write your threes?
Girl [pauses]: Oh.  Oh.  [giggles] How embarrassing.  I mean, a back-to-front 'S'.
Me [starting to giggle]: How do you write an 'S' then?
Girl [getting a bit flustered]: Um.  I mean.  Agh!  Just get it out of here!!!

Movember

It's Movember.  This time last year, I had this conversation with two 10-yr-old girls.

Girl 1: That looked like Mr S...
Girl 2: Yeah, I think it was him, but with a beard.
Girl 1 [with total disgust, face squished up]: Ergh.  Who would grow a beard in November?
Me: Well, it's Movember.
Girl 2 [odd look on her face - not sure if she's misheard me or if I don't know how to say the name of this month properly]: But... it's so hot.  Wouldn't it just be ... so... ergh... ??
Me: A lot of men grow beards in Movember.
Girl 2 [slightly awkward]: Ummm... Why would they do that in [carefully] No-vem-ber?
Me: Because it's Mo-vem-ber. 
Girls: Huh?
Me: Men grow their moustaches and beards this month to raise money for .... ah... men's health.
Girls: Ohhh...
Girl 2: Well, that's okay then.  So long as it's for a good cause.  I feel sorry for his wife though - a whole month of [in disgust] that!

Five Husbands - Status

The girl who thinks I have five husbands was working very hard on a piece - and nothing had been mentioned about my Other Life (if it really is...), so I wasn't prepared.

Girl: Um, Miss M...?
Me: Yes?
Girl: Oh wait... should I call you Miss M or Mrs M?
Me: Why ... would you call me... Mrs M? [as soon as I finish this sentence, I know what's around the corner]
Girl [in the super-slow, "I can't believe I have to explain this to you" way particular to 11-yr-old girls]: Because you have five husbands.  Duh.

Face palm...

Concerts

11-yr-old girl, in the middle of playing something, stopped and asked, rather urgently:

Girl: Oh!  Did you go to the Coldplay concert?
Me: Um...No... Did you?
Girl [dejected]: No...  So now I have to wait another 3 years for the next one. 
Me: Ah, yeah... that's really ... sad...
Girl [energetic again]: Ooh, One Direction?
Me: Ah, no.  You?
Girl [shaking head]: No.
Me: Is this a sad shake of your head?
Girl [surprised]: Yes!
Me: Um... Okay... That's... sad... for you... I guess.

She shook her head in a "You've just got no idea but I'm an 11-yr-old girl so you should listen to me" way, and kept playing from where she'd left off before. 

Book Critic

I teach a pair of brothers on Saturday mornings.  While I was teaching the younger, the dad handed one of my books (This is Your Brain on Music, by Daniel Levitin) to the older boy, who's about 14.  At the end, I heard this:

Dad: What do you think of the book?
Boy: meh... it's ... [insert teenage mumbling]
Dad [all enthusiastic]: It's written by a neurologist, about the different ways your brain connects neurons.
Boy [dismissively]: Yeah... he could have done better with metaphors.
Dad's jaw drops.

Birthdays and Getting Old

Girl:  Oh wow.  I just realised, when I see you next time, I'll be old!  It's my birthday next week.
Me: Ooh, what day?
Girl: Wednesday.  I'm turning 15, so I'll be old.
Me: Okay... [We talked a bit about birthday activities]
Girl: We've got so many tests next week, but none on my birthday -
Me: That was nice of them.
Girl: But there are four the next day.  Oh, and mum had me sign this Medicare thing -
Me: Wow, you are getting old!
Girl: - and I just signed it -
Me: Ooh, you should always check what you're about to sign.
Girl: I know!  But mum just went, like, agh! [high pitched 'mother' voice] You should always read it first before you sign! [normally] But I'm, like, you're my mum, I should be able to trust you!
Me: One would hope so, anyway.  So, why is 15 classified as 'old' now?
Girl: Well, because I'm born in November, I'm older than most of the girls in my grade, so they're all teasing me, saying 15 is half-way to 30... which it is... So I'll be old soon... [sad face]

Sight Reading

One of my little grade 3s is doing really well.  I had some Shostakovich duets on my table, and I decided to give her the first one (the first phrase or so) for some sight reading.  It's mostly do-able in first position, but it also has a high C#, and an A#.  Not notes she's actually learned how to play before.

Me: Okay, I want you to play from the beginning - no, you don't have to count those bars rest, just start from the beginning of the notes.  And play until there [about 8 bars].  So, what's the key signature?
Girl: F# and C#. 
Me: Do is?
Girl: D.
Me: Good.  Have a bit of a look... think through the rhythm... see if you have any questions... [girl obviously plays through in her head, then gets ready to play].  Oh.  Do you have any questions?
Girl: Ah, no... [like that was a really silly question on my part]
Me [pointing to the C#]: So, how are you going to play this note?
Girl: Isn't that just, like, like a 4th finger that's extra high?
Me [impressed]: Yep.  How about this note? [pointing to the A#]
Girl: Shouldn't that be..well, it's a 3rd finger, but it's not friends with 2 anymore but friends with 4?
Me: Okay, so you really didn't have any questions... Let's hear it.

She played it really well.  Counting included!  One very happy teacher.

Magic Elves

8-yr-old boy's last lesson for the year.  I teach his older sister, too, but she hasn't been able to come to the last few lessons.

Me: So, this is your last lesson for the year.  Would you like a Magic Elf? [like a Freddo frog, but with tingly bits in it - and shaped like an elf, obviously]
Boy [eyes lighting up]: Ooh, yes please!
Me: If I gave you another one, would it make its way to H?
Boy [head to one side, thinking about this seriously]: Ummm... Only if you give me 4.
Me: 4?!
Boy: Yeah... You know how C and I are as well, if I come home with 2 then they'll all want one!

He had a point.  He was the only to get a Magic Elf.

Five Husbands - Occupations

At the start of the last holidays, the girl who thinks I have five husbands sent me an email.  Rather sweet, but it made me curious - what do my five husbands do???  First lesson back, I asked her.

Girl [a bit slowly, like she's memorised a speech]: Harry is an actor.  Tom is a ... builder.  Andrew is an architect - I think.  Yep, architect.  Tim is a teacher, and Sebastian is a conductor.  [In her normal conversational style]  Wow, you must be loaded!
Me: Only if they share. ... Maybe I could quit my job then?
Girl [look of horror on her face]: But - but - ... No. 

Thunder and Lightning

Today there was quite a storm, while I was teaching an 11-yr-old viola student.  Thankfully, she had an hour lesson - we would have had about a half hour of productive time.

[Rather large rumble of thunder]
Girl: Ummm... is that thunder?  Or is it a wheelie bin?
Me: It's thunder.
Girl [as the rumbling gets quite loud]: Are you sure?
Me: ... Yes.  Quite sure. [more thunder]
Girl: God just dropped a bowling ball... [flash of lightning] and hit a lamp... [thunder] which then shattered...
Me: Let's just play from bar 9... [thunder]
Girl: He must be taking out the wheelie bin... [thunder]... He dropped the bins [clap of thunder]...an apple core must have fallen out of the wheelie bin...

There was much screaming, jumping (from both of us), running to the windows, and ooohhhhh...  I think she likes storms, in the same way you like a horror movie.

How Does It Go?

10-yr-old girl, just started learning a new piece a week or two beforehand.

Me: Let's have Carnival of Venice.
Girl [all set up and ready to play]: I forgot how it goes...
Me: Well, when you're at home and forget how it goes, what do you do?
Girl: I normally listen to it on Youtube.
Me: So, what would you do if you had no internet [her jaw drops], no computer [oh the horror!], just you?
Girl [pauses, face recovers]: You know, I remember how it goes again now.

Lucky for her, she got it right.

D C al Fine

8-yr-old boy, playing a piece with D. C. al Fine written at the end.  He did what he was meant to do (go back to the beginning and play until Fine), but I wanted to check he knew what it was called.

Me [pointing to the instruction]: At the end, what do you do?
Boy [sounding like and Aussie]: Dee-cal fine.  You go to there [points to top of piece], do the first line and 2 bars and then stop.
Me: Do you know what the D.C. actually stands for? [I point my index fingers on my head]
Boy: Use your brain?

I then did what I normally do - Da Capo, you can see the word 'cap' in Capo, you put your cap on your head, capo means head, fine means finish... But I did like his response.  One should always use one's brain.

Stressed

Grade 3 girl.  I'd just picked her up from her class.

Me: How are you?
Girl: Stressed.  Do I look stressed?  I'm really stressed.
Me: Oh no!  Why are you stressed?
Girl: My little brother said he would shoot me.  With his Nerf gun.
Me: ...Why...?
Girl: Well, I took in some Dr Seuss books to school, and he said if I don't bring them all back, he'd shoot me.  But, mum said it was okay for me to take them in, so obviously she didn't tell him that.  So, I took 4 in [she names 3 - sorry I forget which ones they are] but I can only find those 3... The problem is, I have no idea which one the 4th book is.  So I'm guessing I'm going to be shot.  With a Nerf gun.  By a 4-yr-old.  Probably in the eye.
Me: In the eye???
Girl: Well on the weekend, J came over, and he shot her in the eye. 
Me: Maybe your brother shouldn't be aiming guns at people's faces?
Girl: Oh it was an accident.  He'd already aimed when she stood in front of him and was, like, what? and he just... fired... So now I know ... that he knows... how much that can hurt... so I have to find that last book so I can take it back home so I don't get shot by my annoying little brother, in the eye, with a Nerf gun.  Can you see why I'm stressed???

Mm, Good Maths

A grade 11 girl, with an accounting exam straight after her lesson.  Working on the 2nd violin part of the 2nd movement of Bach's Brandenburg Concerto #3, which is in compound duple time.  The last bar has 2 tums (dotted crotchets) - she wasn't playing either of them long enough.

Me: How many tis fit into these notes?
Girl: [promptly]: One and a half.
Me: If we were counting tas, sure.  How many tis fit into a tum?
Girl: Two [I shake my head]... Four [I shake my head again]
Me [pointing to the 6 in the time signature, rather pointedly]: How many tis in every bar?
Girl [pausing]: Ummm... 6?
Me: And if this bar has 2 notes of equal rhythm, they have to have the same number of tis, right? [girl nods slowly] - So, what's 6 divided by 2?
Girl [promptly]: Four.
Me: Good luck with that accounting exam.
Girl: Oh.  I mean three.  I told you I'm not good with numbers!

Accent

Teaching a girl in grade 1, whose maternal grandparents are Greek, we came across an accent (>).

Me: This is what we call an accent.  Do you know what an accent is?
Girl [looking at me oddly, raised eyebrow]: Ummm, yeah...
Me: Oh good - what is it? [As soon as I finished that sentence I could see where her brain was going with this but couldn't do anything to stop it]
Girl [in all seriousness, with appropriate hand gestures]: It's-a when you talk-a like-a thisss....a...

Both her mum and I lost it.  Eventually, we calmed down enough to explain this other type of accent.

Chatterbox

At the start of ensemble rehearsal, one of the cellists (who sits inside 2nd desk) came up to me.

Girl [smiling nervously]: Um... Can I ask you a question? 
Me: Sure, what is it?
Girl: Well... and I'm pretty sure you're going to say no...
Me [suspicious]: Uh huh...
Girl: But I want to ask you anyway.
Me: Okay. [wait]
Girl: Is there any chance I can sit next to G today?
Me: Umm...
Girl: It's just that, um, you might have noticed, I sit next to... um [tries to find a polite way to say this] well, um, she's a bit of a chatterbox. [No kidding.  Chattiest child in the room, ever].
Me [trying not to smile too much]: Ah, yes... I had noticed that.  G would have to sit in the back row with you though - have you asked her if it's okay?
G [jumping into view at hearing her name]: What do I have to do?
Girl: Sit next to me, so... the chatterbox... can be not next to me.
Me: So we'd have S and C [the chatterbox] in the front, and the 2 of you at the back.

G was fine with it, and it turned out to be really good for C to sit right under my nose.  Of course, it meant I had one very energetic (and thankfully, very capable) cellist sitting next to a very energetic and chatty cellist...  But the chatterbox didn't move her chair around or move over to talk to the double bass or run outside randomly or any of the other things she does that are not sitting quietly.

Cartwheels

As a grade 4 boy was leaving his lesson:

Boy: Mum?
Mother: Yes dear?
Boy: How long until we get home?
Mother: About 30 minutes.
Boy: Oh good!  When we get home, I want to show you my cartwheels!

???  Interesting kid, this one. 

Gathering Instruments

Because double basses are large, the kids usually use a school instrument for rehearsals.  If the string director hasn't brought it down before my rehearsal, I'm begged by a few girls if they can please go and get the double bass.  Today, one of my viola players got in first - and I said yes.  Once it was present, we had the following:

Viola: Okay, where do I put it? [we had a different orientation for our set up today]
Me: Over there [pointing to the double bass stool]
Viola [from about a metre further to the right than she needed to be]: Um, where do I put the double bass?
Me [slowly]: Over there... Right next to the double bass stool.
Viola [looks around, almost does a 360 degree turn, eventually spots the stool, puts down the bass].
Double bass: Um, can I go and get the right bow?  This is... just ... it's wrong.  It's the wrong bow.
Me: Yep, go.
Double bass [dramatically]: Thank you.
Viola [looking at me rather blankly, eventually says]: Oh.  I need a viola.  I was so busy getting the double bass, I forgot I need my viola for this.  Can I go and get my viola?
Me [a little dumbfounded]: Ah... yes...  It does help. [Thinking - oh she's such a viola player!!!]

What Dad Does

It's a long walk from the junior school classrooms to my teaching room.  On the way, I was talking with a grade 3 girl, and she mentioned her dad having to work on Saturday.

Me: What does your dad do?
Girl: Well, when people are about to go into surgery, he knocks them out by hitting them on the head with a hammer.  And when they're done, he wakes them up with a coffee.
Me: So ... he's an anaesthetist?
Girl: Yeah... but I prefer saying he knocks them out with a hammer!

Mahler's Tenor Horns

This grade 11 girl went to the Mahler 7 concert recently, equipped with the score and friends with the score.

Girl [in lesson]: I just don't understand why Mahler uses the tenor horn there.  It makes no sense.  You can't hear it... wait... tenor horn? [she pulls out her phone and checks the score on her phone - yes, really]. Yeah.  Tenor horn.  I mean, really!

At lunch, she barged into my room.

Girl [quite excited]: I had a realisation!  I worked out why Mahler uses the tenor horn.  It's for [pauses slightly] Dramatic Effect.  .... Yeah!

Mango Yoghurt

This particular 8-yr-old boy is usually really good (ie focused) for about 20 minutes, sometimes 25... and then he starts to get a bit silly, and in recent weeks has ended the lesson talking in a made up language (of which I think there are 3 in his repertoire).  Today he walked into the lesson talking in a made up language, and he didn't switch to his focused self for very long at a time.  By the time he was packing up, I realised what I should have asked at the beginning.

Me [lightbulb]: Ah - what did you have for afternoon tea?
Boy [mumbles]
Me: Chocolate?  Is that what you said?  You had chocolate for afternoon tea?  That explains a lot...
Boy: No... Yoghurt.
Me: Yummmm.
Boy: Mango yoghurt.
Me: Double yum!
Boy: .... aaaannnnd ... I had a lot of it...

Five Husbands - Names

I thought it high time I find out the names of the men to whom I'm married.  I suspect this girl had already thought about this, because she came straight out with this:

Girl: Tim
Me: He's my favourite, right?
Girl: Yep.  Tim, Tom... Harry... Andrew and Sebastian.

And then she drew this on the board for me

... except she wrote my full last name [edited for the whole internet thing], started with Tim but ran out of space at the bottom, and we had a little discussion as to the spelling of Sebastian - I won. 

Sugar

11-yr-old, 9:30 am lesson, the morning after Speech Night (her first).

Girl [energetically]: Guess what I had for breakfast?  Oh and by the way I'm really tired... So for breakfast I had a pop tart, and toast, and nutrigrain.
Me [enthusiastically]: Oh goody, sugar!
Girl [grinning like this is the best morning ever]: Yep!  And [drooling-ly, spreading out the word] avocado...
Me: Yum!
Girl: It was soooo good.

Evil Fish

I picked up a grade 3 boy from art today.  Incidentally, this was my first ever case of me asking for a particular child, and the teacher responding with "Yes!  ...good luck..."

Me: What were you working on in art?
Boy: We're painting schools of fishes, and they all have to swim that way [arms point to the right].  So I asked Mrs C if we could have an evil fish going that way [one index finger points to the left].
Me: What did she say?
Boy: Well, she said it was okay to have a fish swimming that way [left]... but not an evil fish.
Me: Okay... How would you paint an evil fish, anyway?
Boy [like, duh]: With its eyebrows pointing down.  And all the other fish are blue, but the evil fish is red.

So, beware red fish.

Eye Stuff

8-yr-old girl: Wow, you look really pretty today.  The skirt, the top, the shoes... earrings, lipstick... (touches her eyes while looking up at me)
Me: Mascara...?
Girl: No... you know, the purple stuff.
Me: That's not eyeshadow, I'm just really tired!

Mistake Face

In quartet this morning, we were having some timing issues.  We'd almost got it sorted out, but Violin 1 kept coming in too soon.  We played it again, and she still came in early.  I shook my head, and she did that wide smile with eyebrows raised in the 'I made a mistake but please forgive me' face.

Cello: She always does that face when she makes a mistake.  But when we make a mistake, she does that face.

This was accompanied by imitations of facial expressions - priceless.  Icing on the cake: at the end of the piece (Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies), cellist sneezed in time with the music. 

Henry Purcell

A bit of general knowledge at the end of a lesson today.  10-yr-old girl, Rondeau.  Pronunciations done a bit more phonetically...

Me: Who composed this piece?
Girl: Henry- wait.  Is it the arranger, or the composer?  Mary Co-hen or Henry Prewcell?
Me: Who do you think the composer is?
Girl: Henry... Prewcell.
Me: Try again.
Girl: Prercell
Me: Purcell
Girl: Oh!  There's no r before the u. 
Me: Where's he from?
Girl [quickly, like she's in a trivia game]: Spain! Argentina! [I couldn't help but start laughing here] Brazil!  ... Oh wait... France!  Oh yeah, Spanish is a different language.... Brazil!
Me [loudly, slowly]: Hen...ry...
Girl: Paris?
Me: Paris isn't a country.  Henry.  Where would a Henry live?  Henry?
Girl [puzzled]: England...? [I nod] England?!  But that's so normal!

I figured out that her confusion was stemming from the title of the piece, which is in French (this is the same child who agreed that French is a silly language) and it has a subtitle 'From the Moor of Abdelazar' and I must have explained at some point the Moorish reference.  That was the end of general knowledge for today, I couldn't risk any more.

Five Husbands - Living Logistics

The girl who thinks I have five husbands (by this stage, age 10) sat down right next to me.  This was the first time I think she had actually thought about how this whole Five Husbands thing would work.

Girl [thoughtfully]:  So... that must be a really awkward living situation.  Wouldn't they all get jealous and fight over you...because you're so beautiful?
Me: ... Ummm...
Girl [picking up my left hand, and much more in charge]: Oh, and you should have 5 rings, one on each finger.
Me: But that would make it really hard to play the violin.
Girl [in that 10-yr-old girl knowing way]: Five husbands.  Five rings.

Four-Way Caps

8-yr-old boy, packing up his violin, sees his cap on the floor by the case.

Boy: Oh, I can't forget my cap.  It's new - and it's a four-way cap.  See, you can wear it this way [brim at the front, shade at the back] or this way [reverses it so he can just see out the little crescent].  Or this way [flips it so the shade bit is not hanging, but tucked inside, and the brim at the front again].  Or... hmmm... oh yeah, or this way [pulls the brim to the side, so he looks like a Cool Kid].

Big grin.

Best Friends and Alien Sounds

As I help out the grade 3 strings, I know what they're doing in class and what their goals are.  One of the pieces for the end-of-year concert is Lucy Locket, a piece they all know from classroom music last year.  It uses the sol-fa so, la and mi.  So to la is a step (they are only aware of major 2nds, or tones, at this point), and so to mi is a skip.  The class strings teacher has them starting with (for violin) 3rd finger on D (G) for so.  With this particular child, we'd played it in her lesson just like in class.  Then we got creative, and played it starting on open A.

Me: Now we're going to go back to starting on 3.  Instead of doing open A for la, though, what do you think we could do instead?
Girl: Ummm... could we use... [face scrunched up like this answer couldn't possibly be correct] 4th finger on the ... D string...?
Me [thrilled she worked this out without any prodding]: Yes!  Now, you know that 1 and 2 are not great friends... [girl nods] and 2 and 3 are best friends [girl nods] - what do you think about 3 and 4?  Will they be best friends or need a gap?
Girl [knowingly]: They'll need a gap.  You can only have one best friend.
Me: Good point.  You know another way we can tell?  If we put out 4th finger right next to our 3rd finger, it would make Lucy Locket sound like this: [I sing the beginning with a very squished up so and la]
Girl [laughing like this is the stupidest thing she's heard all day]: That's terrible!  It sounds like alien sounds!

I am pleased to report that her Lucy Locket sounded right, right from the start.

Parents

I often send my students a recording of me playing what they need to practice.  I'd promised this 11-yr-old girl that I'd send her the new piece, but hadn't.  At the time of her lesson, there was the sound of a cello lesson 10m down the hall, and a violin practising on the other side of the wall (coming through loud and clear).

Me: I know I said I'd send you the recording, but you can hear how ... 'quiet' ... it is here, and there's construction happening next door at home, and my parents were staying... There was just ... no quiet time.
Girl [knowingly]: Oh... Parents... [then, in much the same way parents talk about their kids] They grow up so quickly, don't they???

One Shoe On...

Packing up after this morning's quartet rehearsal, I was discussing tuning with the cellist.  And then I realised she was wearing only one shoe.

Me: Ah... Do you realise you've lost a shoe?
Cello: Oh, I haven't lost it, it just hurts my foot to have it on.  So I took it off.  [sigh] I guess I better put it back on so I don't look like a crazy person for the rest of the day...

The Rite of Spring

I arrange a lot of the music for the quartet I take at school.  About September, I'm usually out of ideas, and ask the girls what they would like to play.  Last year, we had this conversation:

Violin 2: Ooh, ooh, can we do The Rite of Spring???  Please???
Me [a bit stunned]: Um, really?  You want to do The Rite of Spring?
Violin 2 [excited]: Yeah!
Me [incredulous]: The Rite of Spring?!  Starts with a bassoon solo?  [I sing a little bit].
Violin 2 [very confused expression on her face]
Me: Very cool rhythms? chum chum chum chum chum chum chum chum chum chum... ? [If you're unfamiliar with this piece, find it on Youtube]  ...Stravinsky?
Violin 2 [even more confused, if that were possible]
Me [the penny dropping]: Oh wait, do you mean Spring?  Vivaldi's Spring?  Da da da da da-da daaaa?
Violin 2 [a look of such relief on her face]: Yeah!  That's the one!  My dad plays classical music all the time in the car, and I love this piece!

Needless to say, we did a super easy version.

Five Husbands - A Date

Walking back to class with the girl who thinks I have five husbands (8 years old at the time).  There is quite a breeze, and she is a little obsessed with my hair and me having it out instead of always pulled back.  With my hair out, the breeze causes the windswept look, and I hear the following:

Girl: Ooh, you look like a movie star... You know, you should bring your favourite husband here for a romantic evening...
Me: ...I have a favourite husband?
Girl: Mm, Tim.... Light some candles, cook his favourite meal... You'd be wearing a pretty dress... [I admit - I zoned out a bit for the description of what I was wearing - sorry.  But I came right back when I heard the next bit] ... And he'd have his dark curly hair blowing in the breeze, his shirt partly unbuttoned -
Me: What?!  How old are you???  Does your mother know what you've been watching? 

At least there's a bit of romance in her imaginary version of my life.  Nevermind the whole idea of bringing a husband for a date to school!

Biggest Loser

I have a fit ball in my living room, which is possibly the most popular item in my house.  One Saturday morning, I had this conversation with a 7-yr-old - possibly the longest sentence I'd heard him say.

Boy: Um, Anna?
Me: Yes?
Boy: Were you on The Biggest Loser?
Me: Ah... no... [????? What are you saying??? - oh wait, it's a Biggest Loser brand fit ball] NO - I mean, no.  I bought that at a supermarket.  I had a choice of that one or some girly pink thing.
Boy: [Doesn't look convinced.  Thanks a lot, kid]

Perfume and Chin Rests

I was tuning the violin of an 11-yr-old.  When I gave it back, she sniffed the chin rest.

Me: [raised eyebrows]
Girl: Just checking...
Me: Mmm?
Girl: Sometimes, when Ms T tunes my violin... well, she wears perfume and it's really strong and you can smell it on the chin rest.  Yours though - it's much nicer, not nearly as strong.
Me: Oh... good... It could be worse though [thinking of past teachers who were smokers, or with old coffee oozing from their pores]
Girl: Yeah, it could be cologne.  Yerk.

Vampire

Start of today's rehearsal, setting up.

9-yr-old girl: Oh wow, you're so white!
Me: Umm, yes... You've only just noticed?
Girl:Well, yes but you're really white!  I mean, normally your top would be down here [she pulls my sleeve past my elbow] but today we can see your elbow [putting my sleeve back where it was before].
10-yr-old girl: Ah - you realise you just called her a vampire?!


9-yr-old checked later that I wasn't offended by what she'd said.  Considering the fact that she's just as pale as me, I wasn't - merely amused.

Lamington Cupcakes

One of my grade 3 girls is very sweet... But oh boy can she talk!  From the time she steps out of her classroom - and sometimes even before this - she is talking.  I have to actually tell her to stop talking and play when I've asked her (between the flood of words) to do something. 

Today's flood started like this:

Me: Hello!  How are you?
Girl: Good... I practiced this morning!  Oh and on Saturday mum and I did some baking, we made cupcakes but they weren't like normal cupcakes they were like lamingtons because my sister doesn't really like lamingtons unless they're the ones with jam inside...
Me: ooh they are yummy
Girl: Yeah but my sister doesn't really like the normal ones so we made cupcakes that were just normal but they had chocolate topping and then we dipped them in coconut but maybe next time we should do them with jam because jam makes everything better... Except maybe soup.

And this just got us half-way to the lesson.

Killer Cellist

I take a quartet of 10-yr-old girls.  The cellist got a larger cello over the holidays, one which is her own (not a school instrument), and when in its case on her back, it protrudes just above her head.  We were dealing in stickers after the rehearsal this morning.

Cello takes the sheet of stickers but drops it.  Her cello is on her back - as she bends down to pick up the stickers, she takes out Violin 1 and Viola.  I look up to see Violin 1 rubbing her forehead, Viola reeling and holding her head.  Cello is horrified by what she's done, apologises, and we all check that everyone is okay. 

Cello hadn't actually picked up the stickers, so she warns everyone: Okay everyone, watch out - I'm going down again.

Incident-free this time, barring all the giggles.

Later, I saw Cello just after her lesson. 

Me: How's the new cello going?
Cello: Good... Except the tuning. 
Me: Your hands will get used to it.
Cello: Well, it's more that the case is a soft case, so if I knock it at all...
Me: Like when taking out the rest of your quartet...?
Cello: Um, yeah.... It just goes out of tune so quickly!

Camp Results

10-yr-old girl was on camp from Wednesday to Friday last week.

Me: Did you do lots of practice?
Girl [with That Awkward Look on her face]: Well, I did lots before camp.  After camp... Maybe not so much.
Me: Is that a 'no' to after camp?
Girl: Kinda...  [holding up her forearm] Check it out!  I got attacked by a leech!  It poisoned me and everything.  Apparently, it was a very rare type of leech.
Me: Ooh.  So do you feel special?
Girl: Totally.

Squashed Tomato

With a grade 4 girl, we'd been working on an ostinato and writing it on the board.  Later, I was teaching a grade 2 girl.

Girl [giggling]: Squashed tomato...
Me: Ah - what?
Girl [still giggling]: Squashed tomato... okay, os-ti-na-to, but we call them squashed tomatoes.
Me: Oohhh.

And then we made up one of our own.

Sleepyhead

Walking through the playground, I could see 2 girls from my ensemble.  Girl 1 waved vigorously (think someone drowning in the surf) and ran over; Girl 2 followed less energetically.  I don't use their names here - obviously they didn't refer to each other as girl 1 and girl 2.

Girl 1: Mrs M!  Mrs M!  Mrs M!
Me: Hello!
Girl 1: Um, just to let you know. 
[Girl 2 starts nodding her head to the side].
Girl 1: Girl 2 is having some medication...
[Girl 2 tucks her hands under her chin in sleeping fashion].
Girl 1: ...for her teeth...
[Girl 2 starts miming snoring; I try not to laugh]
Girl 1: ...and it's -
[Girl 2 starts snoring]
Girl 1:  - what?  [giggles] - oh yeah, it's making her sleepy.  So we don't know how she'll be this afternoon.
Girl 2:  Yeah, I might be falling asleep, but I'll try to stay awake!

Thirds

A grade 9 girl, learning a new piece.  In 4th position, her fingers were not quite sure of their spacing.

Me: What's that interval? [C-E]
Girl: 3.
Me: Ahem.
Girl: A third.
Me: Better.  What sort of a third?
Girl: Minor.
Me: Um, why?
Girl: Because it sounds really creepy.
Me: Ooh.  [I played it an octave lower]  How about then?
Girl, very confused: Major.  Definitely.  Not creepy at all.

[In case you're not sure - C to E is a major third]

Boring Holidays

First day back at school today.  I spotted one of the girls who's in my ensemble as she was coming back from a piano lesson.  Big smiles.

Me: How are you?
Girl: Good!
Me: How was your holiday?
Girl: Good! ... Okay... [a bit flatter] Well, boring.
Me: Oh.  [hopefully] But you did lots of practice, right?
Girl: Yes! [flatter] A bit... [even flatter] Well, no.
Me: I'm going to take that last answer as the most correct, yes?
Girl [sigh]: Yes.

Ornaments

Working on a piece (Purcell's Rondeau from Abdelazar) with this 10-yr-old girl - she can play it quite well, for the most part, but it's lacking a few (vital) elements.

Me: There are just a couple of things now to make it really good.  Do you know what they might be?
Girl: Well, I don't know if you were thinking of this... You probably weren't... But I thought it would sound, like, way awesome-er if with this note you went like this [demonstrates - instead of a ta A with 3 on the E string, she played 3-4-3, like a mordent].
Me: So, ornamented?
Girl [with that "my teacher's saying weird words again" look on her face]: I don't know what that is.
Me: Well, do you know what an ornament is?
Girl: Yeah - like those little annoying things you have - well, not you, but some people - have around the house for no reason.
Me: Um, yes, to make it not boring but pretty, not so plain... Same thing here.  It's called an ornament because it's making the note less plain.
Girl: Okay, but am I allowed to do it?
Me: Of course!

Five Husbands - Age Logic

I mentioned to the girl who thinks I have five husbands that the new string teacher and I went to the same school, and that teacher was a year or 2 older than me. 

 

Girl: Okay... how old are you? 

Me: How old do you think I am? 

Girl: 15? 

Me: How would I have 5 husbands? I'm pretty sure that's illegal. 

Girl: oh...50? 

Me: (glare) 

Girl: 20? 

Me: That's a better number, let's stay there.

The Stopped Clock

There is a clock in my living room, made by my brother, which no longer works.  My 11-yr-old viola student noticed this morning.

Girl: Um... is that? ... does that.. is that clock right?
Me: Well, twice a day.
Girl: What? Oh.  You should get it fixed.  It's really nice. 
Me: Yeah, my brother made it.  The mechanism needs repairing.
Girl: You should give it to him for Christmas.
Me: Oh that's really nice.  Here's something that's ... actually yours anyway...
Girl: Yeah, it totally works, and you didn't make it.  That's what I'd do to my sister.
Me: Isn't she little though?  Your poor sister.
Girl [with that serious tone suggesting a History]: She'll live.

Wavy Hair

Discussing hair with a girl of about 9.  She was a bit obsessed with my hair all that year.

Girl: So, do you like straight hair or curly hair?
Me: Well, because I have straight hair I've always wanted curly hair.
Girl [with raised eyebrow]: You have wavy hair, not straight hair. 
Me: No, it's really pretty straight...
Girl: No it's not.  So, my hair is a bit wavy especially when it's been up all day for ballet.

Then followed a discussion on loose curls, tight curls, and hair straighteners, and ballet hairstyles.  We also had a bit of violin in that lesson, I promise.

Latin

I asked a boy in grade 8 what made him passionate, as his piece was rather bland.  (He shrugged his shoulders, as 13-yr-old boys tend to do).

Me: There must be something!
Boy [shrugging]: Aihunno [I think - 'I dunno']
Me: Come on, you're 13 - what do you really want?
Boy [clearly]: Well, I really want to learn Latin.  But it's not offered at school.  I keep asking though.
Me: Well, take that passion [yes, for Latin] and put it into this piece.

And he did.

Earrings

This girl (about 9 years old) looked at me carefully one day, while I was tuning her violin.  I always find it disconcerting when kids start staring at my ears.

Girl:  You know, you always wear different earrings.
Me: Uh-huh.
Girl: And they always match your outfit!

For a couple of years, I thought this particular child was a bit slow.  Turns out she just never practiced.

White Shoes

An 8-yr-old.  Outfits.  Shoes (mine were off-white flats that day).

Girl:  Ooh, I like your shoes!
Me: Thank you.
Girl: I have a pair just like them.  Well, except mine are a different sort of white.  Oh, and mine have a bow at the front.  And mine look more satin-y.  Oh, and mine are smaller of course.
Me: So what you're saying is, you also have a pair of white-ish flat shoes?
Girl: Exactly.

Siblings - Almost

A 5-yr-old, in one of her first lessons, had her fingers all squished up on her bow.  In an effort to give them a bit of breathing room, I asked:

Me: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Girl [with a look of 'surely you know this']: Well... yes... but they're still in mummy's tummy.

I should point out that her mother was about 8 months pregnant with twin boys at the time.

Holidays with Five Husbands

I was going to continue the Five Husbands story in order, but as it's holidays...  I received an email from the Five Husbands girl earlier this week.  It finished like this:

I hope you have a safe, healthy and happy holiday with your 5 husbands and I hope you enjoy it.


...So, now I need to find out what sort of occupations these 5 husbands of mine have...

Whoa! Plants

There is a little concrete box-type thing at the front of my house, which serves no real purpose except to separate the car area from the entry area - and as a competition among residents for the artiest display.  In the past, I have had some success with plants in this thing, but not for a while.  For a couple of years, there has been nothing but deadness there (those last plants were definitely not drought tolerant!).  With my regained gardening confidence (see my other blog for more details!), I planted some petunias in the front bit.

This morning, I found my first student - and his mother and grandmother - gawking at the plants.  The student looked up with his mouth half open.

Boy: Whoa... There are... living things here... Plants!  I always know where your place is by the dead plants at the front, this is just too weird.
Me: Yeah, I'm going to water this lot.  You could always count, you know - it's always been the 4th one down.

Andaluza and Tosca

I was working on Andaluza, by Albeniz, with a boy in grade 9.  The ending was a bit blah, so I played it for him.

Me: What do you think of when you hear the ending?
Boy: It sounds like the end of Tosca.
Me: Uh... ok... yeah, I guess so...
Boy: That whole tragedy thing, defeat, like when she throws herself off the parapet.
Me: Did you just see that recently?
Boy: Well, yeah.

Some Tragedy

A boy in grade 9 could play this piece well enough (Lascia ch'io pianga, for those of you playing at home).  But this piece needs much more emotion than just the notes - the title means 'Allow me to Weep', after all.

Me: It needs a bit more tragedy. What's tragic in your life?
Boy: well, today I dissected a brain.

I couldn't go anywhere with that. He won.

Rhythm Something

A 10-yr-old had just played Purcell's Rondeau (from Abdelazar) from memory.  She had played it quite well, except for the rhythm in one particular section, which trips up most students.

Me: What's the rhythm in the C section?
Girl [slightly wary, but still from memory]: Ta...ummm ti slurry.... something something...

Good thing she could play it properly when she had the music in front of her or I would have been really worried.  And depressed.

Hangman

Yesterday's child (with the list of Things to Do in the Lesson) finally got to the end of the list at the end of the next lesson.  I was wanting to go back to the top of the list, but she was quite resistant, and it was the end of the day, and it was practically holidays. She'd also given me a red heart lollipop and practically forced me to eat it.

Girl: So now we're up to fun things!!
Me: Ah, what do you mean by 'fun'?
Girl: You know, like hangman!
Me: Ummm... ok... but it has to be musical hangman. [Using only music letters].
Girl: Ugh, that's so boring.
Me: Ok, musical terms then.
Girl: Ugh, that's still so boring.  How about, it can be a piece of music?

I approved.
She drew on the board:  _ _ _ _ _ _'_    _ _ _ _ _   and told me it was a piece we'd done.

Me: Hedwig's Theme?
Girl [tiny pause]: No.  [I guessed a few more].  No!  And you have to do it properly.

So, I 'guessed' all the letters for theme and she recounted the first word and added one.  Eventually, it turned out to be Lollipop's Theme. 

Me: Um???  I don't know this piece.
Girl: I know!  It was Hedwig's Theme but you guessed it straight away so I had to change it.  And you had a lollipop in your mouth so that's the only thing I could come up with.

Purpose

A 10-yr-old functional first-born was having a double lesson to catch up on one missed.  She came in all business.

Girl: Um, can we, like, have a to-do list and go through that and then, if we get to the end, can we do some fun stuff?
Me: Sure.

The list went something like Scales, Pieces, Exercises, Theory Questions, Pack up, Goodbye, Go!
She wrote the list on the board, really on tippy-toes to reach as high as she could for the first items.

Me: Ok, unpack - I need to see your violin.
Girl [startled]: What?  Oh, right.  Yeah.  That's why I'm here.

Five Husbands - Wedding Dresses

Yes - Sunday is the day for the Five Husbands saga.  By the time this child was in grade 4, I had noticed her fashion ideas were more prominent.  Combined with my inkling that she will be wonderful as a movie director-type person, this following snippet was not a surprise:

Girl: So, what did you do for wedding dresses?  I mean, did you wear the same one or different ones?  Wait.  It just wouldn't be right to wear the same dress for every wedding. 
Me [a bit baffled]: Ummm I guess...
Girl: That would be like saying they're all the same.  You must have worn different ones.  So, there would have been one that puffed out, and another one like a ball gown, and...

I have to admit, I zoned out a bit as she described all her ideas for my wedding dresses.  Maybe, if movie producer isn't where her life takes her, wedding planner might be on the cards.

Bartok's Age

I have an 11-yr-old viola student who does no practice.  This irks me. 

Me [without any hope]: Have you done any practice?
Girl [enthusiastically]: Uh-huh!  And I went through the whole book and found the pieces I want to play.
Me [nearly falling over with shock]: Wow.  Which one first?

The girl picked out the first acceptable one in the book, a duo by Bartok.  Bartok's name and dates (1881 - 1945) are written at the top right of the piece.

Girl: He was really old.
Me: You think so?  How old was he?
Girl [awed]: 121.
Me: ummm... try that again.
Girl: 82.  20.  [tries a few other numbers].
Me: Well, nothing to 45 is 45.  What's 100 minus 81?
Girl: oh... um... [eventually] 19.  Oh! So 45 plus 19... 68.
Me: Ah, try 45 plus 20 minus 1
Girl: 65. 64! Wow.  He was really young.

While I Was Sitting Here

The piece I'm working on with my ensemble is one I've written myself, based on 2 songs they all know really well from school (One, Two, Three and Apple Tree).  Last week, near the end of the rehearsal, one of the viola players put up her hand.

Girl: So, while I was sitting here,  I thought up a rap version, and a jazz version, and an opera version.
Me: Ooh, can I hear them?
Girl: ummm... next week?

This week, I got to hear the 3 different versions.  I wish I could record them and upload it here - the viola player and a friend sang One, Two, Three first as a rap (complete with hand movements), then very seriously for opera (with a bit of vibrato), then a very groovy jazz version, which had us all swaying along and clicking.  I laughed so much my face went red.

If you don't know the song, it goes like this:

One,       two,        three
so           la            so
 
John-ny caught a  flea
so     so    la     la  so

Flea       died,       John-ny cried
so          mi           so     so   mi

One,      two,        three
so          mi            do

Espressivo e Tranquillo

I was talking terms with a 10-yr-old today (in Seitz's Concerto No. 2, Third Movement, for those of you playing at home).

Me: What does espressivo e tranquillo mean?
Girl: Oh.  We talked about this last week....
Me: Espressivo...?
Girl: Oh!  Um.. sounds like... Expressive!
Me: Yes!  [very pleased that she didn't say 'espresso' like last week].  E?
Girl: And!
Me: Yes! Tranquillo?
Girl: Nnnnnno idea. [I start miming, like I'm smoothing something].  Oh, flat? boring?
Me: Chop the -lo and you get the word tranquil.  Do you know what that means? [girl shakes head]. Calm... peaceful... like a calm lake.  So how are you going to play expressively? [girl shrugs].  Keep using that lovely vibrato [hers is coming along beautifully] and lots of dynamics.
Girl: But how can you play expressively and calmly?

I played the passage expressively and agitato, then again expressively but with far less accentuation from the bow.

Girl: Oh yeah!  It does sound like a lake!

Pajama Party

I'd just collected my 9am student this morning, and we could see 2 little people (Prep or grade 1) approaching. 

Girl [quietly]: It looks like they're wearing pajamas.
Me [also quietly]: Yep. 
Little people [not quietly at all, but quite excited]: We're having a pajama party in our classroom!!!!

We walked on a bit.

Girl [normally]: I wish we could have a pajama party.  That would be the best.  I did come to school one day in my pajamas.  It was a sports day and I just pulled my sports uniform on over my pajamas and it wasn't until later that I realised they were shorts under there.  It was very comfy, though.  ... Ooh, I'd love for the whole school uniform to be made out of pajamas... Although that would probably mean I'd be falling asleep when I was meant to be doing my work.  Maybe this is for the best, then.

Star Mash

Working on a new piece with a 10-yr-old girl today.  Its title is 'Starmash'.

Me: What do you think the title means?
Girl: You take a star [she mimes] and then you mash it [squishes it in her hand] and then you can eat it, like potato mash!  I mean - um - mash potato.  Mashed potato.  Sorry.  Mashed potato but out of stars.

Cooking with Five Husbands

After the initial Five Husbands thing, that child would occasionally ask me - in that gossipy tone of voice:  Sooo.... how are your five husbands??? 
And my reply would usually be along the lines of: Hm, they're fine...

Until one day, when I was feeling daring.

Girl: Sooo.. How are your five husbands???
Me: They're fine.  But I wish they'd learn to cook more.  It's so boring right now!  Just soups and stirfries [guess what I'd been cooking all that term...]
Girl:  Ooh, you could give them each a cookbook.  Or, make them watch cooking shows.  If you have each of them watch a different cooking show, then you can have a different style each time one of them cooks.  That would be much more interesting.

Mothers

After ensemble, there was a mum sitting on the bench outside the room.  There were a few girls hanging around in the rehearsal room, and I wanted to check that the mum wasn't waiting for one of them.

Me: Is that anyone's mum?
Girl 1: No... My mum has short hair.  Like, really short hair.
Me: Yeah, I knew it wasn't your mum.
Girl 2: Well, it's not my mum.
Me: I knew it wasn't your mum either, really.
Girl 2: How do you know what my mum looks like?  You haven't seen my mum, have you?
Me: Yes I have, at our performances.
Girl 2: Well, what does she look like?
Me: Like a taller, older version of you.  With shorter hair.
Girl 2: No she doesn't!
Girls 1, 3 &4: Yes.  Yes, she does.

Existential Angst

...or, audition prep.

One of my grade 12s - who I've taught, like, forever - had an audition on Thursday.  Once she'd played me her pieces in her lesson on Wednesday, I had to decide if I should make her work on them a lot more, or accept where they (and she) were at, and talk brain.  We talked brain.  Part of the conversation went like this:

Me: If you want to work in the arts, be warned - you'll have many years of existential angst.
Girl: ummm?
Me: You know, when you think you should be a lawyer or a doctor, or something that really helps people.
Girl: Well, music helps people.

Yay!  My work is done.  If only more people recognised this fact.
And, as an added bonus, this girl was offered a place in this course straight away.  Very proud teacher.

Rehearsal Alphabet

Currently, my ensemble is working on a piece that has rehearsal letters up to H.  Last week, we had several cases of me saying, play from C, and half the group playing from E (for example).  One girl tried to work out a Letter for Animal alphabet.  This week, she'd got a working list up to H.  While choosing a sticker afterwards, she told me what they were:

A is for Ant
B is for Bee (B is?  yes, for Bee, as in, you know, a Bee - for reduction of confusion, this might turn into B is for Bumblebee)
C is for Cat
D is for Dog
E is for Elephant
F is for Frog
G is for Giraffe
H is for Hippo

I hope I can remember all these next week!  I'm curious what 'I' would be...

Group Photos

Today was group photos day at school.  One of those days when I really love my job.  Looking through the photos to put the names in order, so many of them made me smile.  The actual photos were taken in the middle of a courtyard, with no shade.  Several comments, thrown here and there:

Girl seated in front row: It's nice and shady here.
Me: That's because the people standing behind you are providing you with shade.
Girl: Yeah, I like being short.

Girl: I know it looks like I'm shorter, but honestly, I'm taller, I promise.
Me:  Well you better stand up really straight, then.
Girl [extending her neck as tall as it will go]: See?!

Photographer [to me]: Which side are you going to stand on? 
Me:You're making me pick a side?
Girls, waving hands in the air and wearing biggest winning smiles: Pick this side, this one!!!

Sleepover Antics

I asked a 9-yr-old about her weekend. 

Girl: No... nothing exciting... oh wait! We had my birthday party at Laserforce and it was so much fun!!!  ... Oh, and then we had a sleepover.  Same people as last time, too [grins].
Me: Were there any midnight feasts this time?
Girl: Yes, but we accidentally fell asleep.  We had a bowl of cinnamon sugar, and we were putting tiny bits of it on our tongue to stay awake, but it didn't work.  We fell asleep at about 10:30 then woke up at 4 for the midnight feast.  Next time, we might use a teaspoon each time for the sugar.

She then listed all the foods they had eaten at the midnight feast.  Snakes, chocolate, and roll-ups!  We both love roll-ups, and both have mothers who wouldn't/won't buy them.  Other means required.

French is a Silly Language

I'm not a fan of French, despite it having wormed its way into my brain.  French has so many letters they just ignore - hm.  So, I started Purcell's Rondeau (from Abdelazar) with a 10-yr-old girl by saying, "French is a silly language".

Girl (indignant): Oh!  That's not nice!
Me: Well, how would you pronounce the title of this piece?
Girl (slowly): Ronnnn-deeee-ay-oooo...?
Me: Yeah, it's pronounced 'rondo'.
Girl: Well, that's silly.
Me: Exactly.

Five Husbands

This is the beginning of quite a saga.  In 2008, I was teaching a girl in grade 2, still 7 years old but nearly 8.  She was unpacking, and I was writing something in her notebook. 

Girl: um, Miss M?  Are you married?
Still looking down, I held up my left hand, to indicate the absence of a wedding ring.
Girl [incredulous]: You have five husbands?!?! You must do a lot of cooking!!!
It was probably a couple of minutes before I could stop laughing and explain to her that most people, when married, wear a wedding ring on their ring finger, and by showing her that I wasn't wearing any rings, it means I'm probably not married. 

It didn't work though.  Since then, she has been working on My Life With Five Husbands.  Which is far more interesting than my actual life.

How Hard is Grade 6?

A girl in grade 9 (14 years old?) asked me if she does violin exams, does that really help her OP?  Yes...from next year.  She did a grade 5 exam last year, and was a little disappointed that wouldn't count.  She was quite happy that she just had to pass the exams, not get an A.  Looks like we're back to doing violin exams. 

Me: We should start grade 6 material now, then.
Girl: [shakes head vigorously]
Me: Yes.  [I then explained timing of exams, won't bore you with that here].
Girl: But.... won't it be hard?
Me: [sigh].  Let's have a look, shall we?  [I pick up the newest grade 6 book].  A major.  Not that hard.  Goes a bit high, but you can cope?
Girl: [nods]
Me: Good.  Next one.  Just arpeggios.
Girl: wah?!
Me: You can cope.  Next.  Oh look.  The first movement of Eine Kleine - which I know you can already play.  [girl nods].  Next.  Fantasia on Greensleeves.
Girl: Oh, I did the solo part for that last year in orchestra.
Me: Yep.  Exactly the same.  Next. 
Girl: Agh!  No!  Too many flats!
Me: hmmm... Next.  Ooh, Csardas.  [I sing the main bits - admittedly, a bit on the fast side]
Girl: Oh, it's just like Hungarian Dance!
Me: Yes. 
Girl: But it's so nnnnnnn-nnnnnnn-nnnnnnn [don't know how else to transcribe that - that's what she sounded like, though].
Me: Well, it's not really that fast... Just move your fingers and bow a bit fast and you'll be fine. 
Girl: Can we do Greensleeves first?

And then she proceeds to play it perfectly, the first time.  I guess grade 6 isn't so unattainable after all.

Class Excursion

I'd just collected this 8-yr-old boy from his class, and we were walking to his lesson.

Boy: Did you know my class is going on excursion soon?
Me: No, where are they going?
Boy: Ummmm.... I'm not sure.  I'm going to Germany, but they get to go on excursion.
Me: I think you got the better deal here.
Boy (starts giggling): Yeah...

The Riot

A new piece in ensemble.  A very messy bit, which shouldn't be.

Me: Violins and violas go ti-ti ta ti-ti ta, cellos and double bass ti-ti ti-ti ti-ti ta, violins and violas ti-ti ti-ti ta cellos and double bass ti-ti ti-ti everyone ti-ti ta.
9-yr-old (enthusiastically): So, it's like we're having a riot!
Me: Ah, yes, I guess it is a bit...
Another 9-yr-old: Ooh, and our bows are like guns and we can shoot everyone and-
Me: Let's not go nuts. 

Sore Face

I passed one of my 9-yr-old girls emerging from sick bay with an ice pack held to her face.  What happened?
" I slipped, and hit my face on the bench.  Now it hurts to talk because I've got an extra bit of fat there".

Casket Case

The quartet girls all unpack their instruments on the desks.  Packing away her cello, the 9-yr-old said:  It's like a casket.  So, it's like I'm having a funeral.  For my cello.  Awww, so sad.

And all 4 of them start singing the Imperial March from Star Wars.

Psycho/Psychic

Handing out stickers to my string ensemble students.  The next girl's folder has green and silver stars around the name tag, with silver at either end.
9-yr-old girl: Could I... please... have.... ummm...
Me: ...a green star?
9-yr-old, indignantly: How did you know that?! You're not psycho!
Me, laughing: Ah - do you mean psychic...?
9-yr-old, startled: Oh!  Yes.  Sorry.