Biggest Instrument

On Wednesday, the grade 3s had their first ever concert (for their parents).  The next day, I was talking with a violinist from the junior quartet (grade 5).

Girl: How was the grade 3 concert?
Me: It was good.
Girl: Now, be honest - did some of them sound terrible?
Me: Ummm... I don't think so... But I couldn't hear all of them, so I can't say with certainty.
Girl: Oh, now, are they going to play for the grade 2s at the end of the year?
Me: Yes.
Girl: Man, I loved that!  It got me so pumped up!  I really wanted to play the double bass.  I wanted to play the biggest instrument in the class.
Me: So, uh, how's that working out for you?
Girl: Yeah.  Not so great.

It's Really Famous

Continuing Quartet.  First, we played Funiculi Funicula.  Quite slowly, but the whole piece, with only one stop near the beginning.

Cello: Man, we are going to have to get so much faster.
Viola: I swear, I have never heard this piece before.
Cello [dramatically]: Are you kidding me?  It is so famous!  Like, really famous!  [then, more subdued] Well... In Italy, anyway.
Viola: Oh great, in Italy.
Cello: Totally!  If we played this in Italy, they'd all be, like, we totally know this piece.  Everyone in Italy knows this piece, they're, like [sings a bit of the opening melody]... Yeah...  Famous.

Coffee is Good for You

...or, convincing the younger generation of the benefits of coffee.  It's never too young to learn.  10-yr-old girl saw me drinking out of my insulated cup, which had some drips down the side.

Girl [slightly judgmental]: Is that coffee, or tea?
Me: Tea.
Girl: I couldn't tell from the drips coming down the side.
Me: Well, they're probably from the coffee I had in here before.  I washed it, obviously.
Girl: So, you've had coffee today?  [parrot-voice] Coffee is really bad for you.
Me: No!  It's good for you!
Girl [raised eyebrow]: You're just making that up.  You know, Mrs S. has, like, 3 cups of coffee in the morning.  That's really bad.
Me: Nope.  Coffee is good for you.  It helps prevent Parkinsons disease-
Girl: What's that?
Me: You know when old people shake uncontrollably?
Girl: But you're not old.  You don't have to worry about that.
Me: The better you are when you're young, the less... awful... your life will be later. [girl is unconvinced]. Plus, if you have some coffee just before you exercise it helps you go further without pain.
Girl: Oh good.  So, next time, I should ask my mum for some just before ballet?
Me: Ummm... Maybe not.

There's no way this child needs a stimulant.

Appropriate Chapel Attire

Continuing Quartet this morning. 

Cello: Okay, so, this is so annoying.  I've got PE, like, first.  As in, right now.  So I have to change into my PE uniform.  And then I have [inter-school] cross country afterwards.  So I have to... yeah...  But! Later, we've got chapel.  And I can't go into the chapel... [withering tone of voice] un... [rolled eyes and a sigh for extra emphasis] ... formal... 

Random Comment #1 - Chin Rests

Continuing Quartet this morning.  We stopped playing for something, and before anything could be said, we had this:

Viola [sniffing her chin rest]: Ooh, my chin rest smells really nice.
Me [a bit stunned]: Um... Okay... Random comment number one for the day...
Violin 2: Ooh, mine smells nice too.  Like wood.
Violin 1: So does mine.  Well, of course they all do, really.
Cello [with her nose at the shoulder of her cello]: That's not fair.  I don't have one!
Viola: You don't have anywhere to put it.
Cello: I guess ... It would have to go here [points to the shoulder of the cello].  Can you imagine that??

Cello then puts her chin on the imaginary chin rest and pretends to play.  She looked like she was trying to sniff the bridge of the cello, with her left hand above her hair and bow arm sticking out like a broken wing.  It didn't last long, of course, as the giggles turned to hilarity.

Pretty Eyes

10-yr-old girl, very dramatic and energetic.  I hadn't normally worn any mascara when she came for a lesson, so when I did:

Girl [wide-eyed and breathless]: Wow... Your eyes are really pretty...
Me: Thanks.
Girl: What colour are they?
Me: You're looking right at them, you tell me.
Girl stares a bit closer, then (not quite so breathless): Oh.  Your eyes are really weird.  They're like this weird, like, green colour.

Pizz

Grade 6 quartet this morning.  The piece we worked on for most of this morning has a pattern of repeated quavers that is shared between all the parts, and we played it in various ways to determine if we wanted smooth or not, how to slur if we were slurring, and then we tried a section pizzicato (plucked).  It sounded fabulous that way, so the pencil was shared around (I was the only one who brought one today) so the girls could write pizz in their parts.  While the cellist was writing, the violins were fiddling around with their parts. 

Cello gasped, head snapped up, then: Oh no.  Oh.  Um. 
Me: Oh - what is it?
Cello: Oh no.  How - how do you spell pizz?
Me: P-I-Z-Z
Cello:  Oh no.  I used an 'S'.  Two of them!
Me: So you've written-
Cello [both of us starting to giggle]: Yep.  Piss.  It's in my part now!  [a bit louder] Does anyone have a rubber?  This is important.
Viola: Why?
Cello: Because... because I wrote 'piss' in my part.  I need to change them to 'Z's! 
Viola: Ooh, that's a swear word!
Cello: No it's not, not really.  It's just a naughty word for pee.
Violin 2: Well, it's rude if you put 'off' after it.

Thankfully, Viola had a rubber handy, and the situation was rectified.

YouTube

Continuing Quartet.  We're working on a couple of pieces, one of which is Carnival of Venice. 

Cello: Oh, my goodness!  I was listening to this on YouTube, because my mum was, like [in a very serious 'tell it like it is' voice] Um, you suck... [back to normal] and -
Me [a bit indignant]: Oh!
Cello [dejected]: Well, yeah.  She's kinda right.  [perkier] So, I was listening to it, and it sounds awesome!!  All [she sings in a carnival-like manner] doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo [etc]

I wonder how this generation would go without YouTube...

Not A Doctor

Junior Quartet this morning.  Visited by one of the cellists who is also in grade 5 this year (and was in my ensemble last year - the chatterbox).  This happened as we were heading down the stairs at the end of rehearsal.

Cello: No way!  Miss M, C just moved up to a three-quarter size cello!
C [obviously very pleased with this]: Yep!  It's cos my hands are bigger.
Me: Let's see.  [She holds up her hands].  Wow, your fingers are really long.  My hands are really small...
C:  How big are yours, let me see! [She tries to match up her right hand with my right, then I convince her to hold up her left].  No way!  Yours are tiny!
Me: Ah... yes. [Viola tries out as well, same result]
Cello: Well, Ms T said, my arm has grown... but...well... she's not a doctor...  So she wants to wait until my hand has grown as well, otherwise I might go flop [with accompanying arm-falling-down-the-cello action] and end up at the wrong end.

Major Disaster

Discussing intervals with a 10-yr-old.  We'd talked 'perfect'.  Now for major and minor.

Me: So, if we forget this is music, what's major?  Like, a major ... disaster [the recent events of our country at the forefront of my mind].
Girl [quite seriously]: Bad.  Really bad.
Me: What if it was... um... they're all negative examples in my head... Okay.  What about a minor problem?  What would that be?
Girl: Not good.  But small.
Me [relieved]: Yes.  Minor is small, major is big.

Feet

Quartet rehearsal this morning.  Just beginning, and the cellist starts trying to play and untie her right shoelace at the same time. 

Cello: Agh!  It's just... um... agh... too hot... agh... [shoe comes off]  Oh, can I go, like, really quickly, to the bathroom?  Please?
Me: Be really quick.  [cello gets up] Do you realise you've...
Cello: Yep.  I'm going to be really quick so no-one sees me looking like a dork.
Viola [giggling]: That looks so weird.  But it's kinda like me.  I sleep that way.
Me: With one shoe...?
Viola: No, with one foot under the covers and the other one out.
Violin 1: I often sleep with both feet out.
Viola: Yeah, my mum says I've done this, like, forever.  Unless it's really hot, and then I'm just, like, [thrashes around in her chair] AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!! and both feet stay out.
Cello [returning, all business]: Okay, I don't think anyone saw me.  [everyone's looking at her].  What?

This is not the first One Shoe On episode from this cellist.  I found out at the end that she has an ingrown toenail, which is why she keeps wanting that shoe off.

Movember

It's Movember.  This time last year, I had this conversation with two 10-yr-old girls.

Girl 1: That looked like Mr S...
Girl 2: Yeah, I think it was him, but with a beard.
Girl 1 [with total disgust, face squished up]: Ergh.  Who would grow a beard in November?
Me: Well, it's Movember.
Girl 2 [odd look on her face - not sure if she's misheard me or if I don't know how to say the name of this month properly]: But... it's so hot.  Wouldn't it just be ... so... ergh... ??
Me: A lot of men grow beards in Movember.
Girl 2 [slightly awkward]: Ummm... Why would they do that in [carefully] No-vem-ber?
Me: Because it's Mo-vem-ber. 
Girls: Huh?
Me: Men grow their moustaches and beards this month to raise money for .... ah... men's health.
Girls: Ohhh...
Girl 2: Well, that's okay then.  So long as it's for a good cause.  I feel sorry for his wife though - a whole month of [in disgust] that!

How Does It Go?

10-yr-old girl, just started learning a new piece a week or two beforehand.

Me: Let's have Carnival of Venice.
Girl [all set up and ready to play]: I forgot how it goes...
Me: Well, when you're at home and forget how it goes, what do you do?
Girl: I normally listen to it on Youtube.
Me: So, what would you do if you had no internet [her jaw drops], no computer [oh the horror!], just you?
Girl [pauses, face recovers]: You know, I remember how it goes again now.

Lucky for her, she got it right.

Five Husbands - Names

I thought it high time I find out the names of the men to whom I'm married.  I suspect this girl had already thought about this, because she came straight out with this:

Girl: Tim
Me: He's my favourite, right?
Girl: Yep.  Tim, Tom... Harry... Andrew and Sebastian.

And then she drew this on the board for me

... except she wrote my full last name [edited for the whole internet thing], started with Tim but ran out of space at the bottom, and we had a little discussion as to the spelling of Sebastian - I won. 

Henry Purcell

A bit of general knowledge at the end of a lesson today.  10-yr-old girl, Rondeau.  Pronunciations done a bit more phonetically...

Me: Who composed this piece?
Girl: Henry- wait.  Is it the arranger, or the composer?  Mary Co-hen or Henry Prewcell?
Me: Who do you think the composer is?
Girl: Henry... Prewcell.
Me: Try again.
Girl: Prercell
Me: Purcell
Girl: Oh!  There's no r before the u. 
Me: Where's he from?
Girl [quickly, like she's in a trivia game]: Spain! Argentina! [I couldn't help but start laughing here] Brazil!  ... Oh wait... France!  Oh yeah, Spanish is a different language.... Brazil!
Me [loudly, slowly]: Hen...ry...
Girl: Paris?
Me: Paris isn't a country.  Henry.  Where would a Henry live?  Henry?
Girl [puzzled]: England...? [I nod] England?!  But that's so normal!

I figured out that her confusion was stemming from the title of the piece, which is in French (this is the same child who agreed that French is a silly language) and it has a subtitle 'From the Moor of Abdelazar' and I must have explained at some point the Moorish reference.  That was the end of general knowledge for today, I couldn't risk any more.

Five Husbands - Living Logistics

The girl who thinks I have five husbands (by this stage, age 10) sat down right next to me.  This was the first time I think she had actually thought about how this whole Five Husbands thing would work.

Girl [thoughtfully]:  So... that must be a really awkward living situation.  Wouldn't they all get jealous and fight over you...because you're so beautiful?
Me: ... Ummm...
Girl [picking up my left hand, and much more in charge]: Oh, and you should have 5 rings, one on each finger.
Me: But that would make it really hard to play the violin.
Girl [in that 10-yr-old girl knowing way]: Five husbands.  Five rings.

Vampire

Start of today's rehearsal, setting up.

9-yr-old girl: Oh wow, you're so white!
Me: Umm, yes... You've only just noticed?
Girl:Well, yes but you're really white!  I mean, normally your top would be down here [she pulls my sleeve past my elbow] but today we can see your elbow [putting my sleeve back where it was before].
10-yr-old girl: Ah - you realise you just called her a vampire?!


9-yr-old checked later that I wasn't offended by what she'd said.  Considering the fact that she's just as pale as me, I wasn't - merely amused.

Killer Cellist

I take a quartet of 10-yr-old girls.  The cellist got a larger cello over the holidays, one which is her own (not a school instrument), and when in its case on her back, it protrudes just above her head.  We were dealing in stickers after the rehearsal this morning.

Cello takes the sheet of stickers but drops it.  Her cello is on her back - as she bends down to pick up the stickers, she takes out Violin 1 and Viola.  I look up to see Violin 1 rubbing her forehead, Viola reeling and holding her head.  Cello is horrified by what she's done, apologises, and we all check that everyone is okay. 

Cello hadn't actually picked up the stickers, so she warns everyone: Okay everyone, watch out - I'm going down again.

Incident-free this time, barring all the giggles.

Later, I saw Cello just after her lesson. 

Me: How's the new cello going?
Cello: Good... Except the tuning. 
Me: Your hands will get used to it.
Cello: Well, it's more that the case is a soft case, so if I knock it at all...
Me: Like when taking out the rest of your quartet...?
Cello: Um, yeah.... It just goes out of tune so quickly!

Camp Results

10-yr-old girl was on camp from Wednesday to Friday last week.

Me: Did you do lots of practice?
Girl [with That Awkward Look on her face]: Well, I did lots before camp.  After camp... Maybe not so much.
Me: Is that a 'no' to after camp?
Girl: Kinda...  [holding up her forearm] Check it out!  I got attacked by a leech!  It poisoned me and everything.  Apparently, it was a very rare type of leech.
Me: Ooh.  So do you feel special?
Girl: Totally.

Ornaments

Working on a piece (Purcell's Rondeau from Abdelazar) with this 10-yr-old girl - she can play it quite well, for the most part, but it's lacking a few (vital) elements.

Me: There are just a couple of things now to make it really good.  Do you know what they might be?
Girl: Well, I don't know if you were thinking of this... You probably weren't... But I thought it would sound, like, way awesome-er if with this note you went like this [demonstrates - instead of a ta A with 3 on the E string, she played 3-4-3, like a mordent].
Me: So, ornamented?
Girl [with that "my teacher's saying weird words again" look on her face]: I don't know what that is.
Me: Well, do you know what an ornament is?
Girl: Yeah - like those little annoying things you have - well, not you, but some people - have around the house for no reason.
Me: Um, yes, to make it not boring but pretty, not so plain... Same thing here.  It's called an ornament because it's making the note less plain.
Girl: Okay, but am I allowed to do it?
Me: Of course!