How To Play a Tango

This is not really a quote, but I'm including it anyway.  Junior Quartet [with no viola].  They'd played a piece I'd arranged for them, a tango.  It was okay, but not very tango-like.

Me: How could you play this more like a tango?
Violin 1 does a sharp breath in through her nose, stands up very straight with her bow in her mouth like it is a rose, and starts doing tango-style steps around her chair.
Violin 2 sees that, and puts her bow in her mouth as well, and does similar moves.
Cello then puts her bow in her mouth and dances with her cello with ballroom dancing-style moves.

I try not to laugh too much as I can see a potential disaster.
Me: Um... Okay.  Bows out of mouths.  So that's how we could act a tango.  How does that work in playing a tango?
Violin 1 [taking out her bow, sitting down]: Ooh!  Like this-
She sits down, her back over-arched, and does strong full bows with her bow in the air, sharply inhaling and exhaling with every stroke, and a slight torso movement side to side.

Me: Exactly.

The great thing about this quartet is that, although they are not very focused for very long, they work hard when they are switched on, and they practice!  Once we've discussed how to make something better, they then do it and (usually) remember for the next time.

Shoulder Devil

One of my junior quartet violinists came to see me first thing this morning - before rehearsal - to organise a lesson time for the first week back.  The violist came in as well.

Violin: So, can I organise a lesson time?
Me: Sure.  What time would you like?
Violin [looking at the blank page]: Ummm...
Me: Really, you can have pretty much any time.  Does Tuesday work for you - same day as quartet?
Violin: Yes.  That would be good.  Umm...
Viola [peering over her shoulder]: You should do 12:30.  Then you don't have to last until lunch.
Violin [shaking her off]: No.  Um.
Me: Do you want 12:30?
Violin: No.  Um.  When else would be good...
Viola [whispering]: 12:30 12:30 12:30 12:30 12:30 12:30
Violin [actually batting her away]:  No, not 12:30.
Me: When would you like then?  Before morning tea?  Before lunch?
Viola: 12:30 12:30 12:30 12:30 hee hee hee I'm like [giggle] one of those [giggle] shoulder angels... oh wait... um... shoulder... devil...
Violin: Could I have... 9...?  Or 9:30...?
Me: Sure - which one?
Viola: Pick whichever one you want [whispering] 12:30 12:30 [normal] pick whichever one [whispering] 12:30 12:30 12:30
Violin: Agh!  Um -
Viola:  Pick whichever one you want [whispering] 12:30 12:30
Violin: Oh shush!  9:30 please.

Ninja Moves

This morning, the junior quartet performed for the first time in junior schooling assembly.  We had a rehearsal beforehand.  Originally, I was told we could practice in the assembly hall, but yesterday one of the girls saw me and ran up, very serious and wide-eyed: dance club would be in the hall - and they have loud music.  I thought I might be able to use the music room by the hall, but this morning there was another group was rehearsing in there.  So, having found the cellist, I went to the music room by the front driveway and next to the music office.  Thankfully, the other girls saw us as they arrived.  Before I saw the viola arrive, I walked out to the drive to check something with the first violinist's mum.  Turning back, I saw a flash of white-socked leg run into the classroom.  I walked in...

Viola [jumping up from just under a desk]: AGH!!!!! [best approximation of a yell]
Me: Yep.  Hi.  I saw you run in here.
Viola: I'm practising ninja moves.
Cello: ... why...?
Viola: This morning, my mum, at breakfast, she was just standing there, and then [does a fast squat with arms crossed out the front] hai-YA!  I got, like, such a shock.  I was, like, mum?  What are you doing?  And she said, I'm practising my stealth ninja moves.  So then I did it, like this [pauses, looks focused, then just the arm movement] hai-YA!  But then, mum said she was about to have a shower, so I got to the bathroom before her, and I put on a shower cap, like this [mimes] and made it really tight around my head, and then I hid in the shower, so when she came in - [squat, arms,] hai-YA! and- OH!  OH!  I just had the best idea!  We could be, like, the ninja moves quartet!

As it turned out, there were far more ninja stealth moves in rehearsal than anybody wanted, as there were several flies just flying around and landing on their bows and fingers and music.  How to keep the adrenaline pumping.  And I am pleased to report they spoke their parts and played their music beautifully.  One very proud teacher here.

Being Jealous of Talented People

Junior Quartet this morning.  Yesterday the news broke that our first violinist is, very sadly, leaving the country in a few months. 

Girl: Who's going to replace Violin 1 when she goes?  Is it going to be a grade 5?  Is it going to be D?
Me: I've had a quick chat with Ms T, and we have an idea, but we can't tell you just yet. 
Violin 1: Is it going to be a grade 5?  Or a grade 4?
Violin 2: Please not a grade 4! Because I really don't want it to be L.Z. - I hate her!
Me [taken aback]: Wow.  But she's really nice, and really good at violin [one of those kids who just picks it up without any worries]
Violin 2 [agitated]: But I hate her!  I'm doing grade one piano, and she's doing grade FIVE!  It's just not fair!  Although, she is Chinese- [gasp]
Me: Wow. 
Violin 2: I'm so sorry-
Me: Mm, that's a bit racist...
Violin 2: I didn't- I mean, I- Oh you know what I mean, she's just so good.  And I'm not!

You Said It

Junior Quartet yesterday morning.  I'm recovering from a cold - so, odd voice (if present at all), sneezy, sniffly, and grumpy.  Only 2 girls were there on time.  They were actually taking initiative and tuning their violins on their own.

Violin 1: Oh, Viola isn't here today.
Me: Why not?
Violin 1: She's at...
Me: Is she doing some... Sport... thing?
Violin 1: She's at [insert some regional thing] cross country.
Me: Okay.  Now.  You hear how my voice is still a bit weird? 
[Girls both nod, wide eyed]
Me: Well, I still have a cold.  So.  I need you all to behave.  Really well.
Violin 1 [giggling]: It's a good thing Viola isn't here then. [Viola is very chatty]
Me: Yes. Oh.  Well, you said it...

Too/Two

This year's junior quartet are so, so funny.  I wish I could record them and show you all.  Instead, you'll have to receive their hilarity secondhand, through me.  And just in case you're not fluent in Kodaly-speak as well as violin-speak: a 2 (two) is our second finger.  A too (or too-oo) is a minim, or a note held for 2 ta (crotchet) beats.

Me: Violin 2, what sort of two do you have in bar 32?
Violin 2: I don't have a too in bar 32.
Me: Um, yes you do.
Violin 2: No, I've got ta za za za ta ta ta ta-
Me: No not bar 31, bar 32.
Violin 2: Oh!  Ta ta ta ta-
Me [a little exasperated]: Yes, but what sort of two?
Violin 2: There is no too. [By this stage, Violin 1 and Cello have got up and are peering at her music as well, pointing to the right bar and saying the rhythm also]
Me: Yes, there is.  Find it, quickly, and tell me what sort of two it is.
Violin 2: I don't have a too in bar 32, and anyway, what different sort of toos can you have?
Me [finally cottoning on to the problem]: Ah.  Bar 32.  Your second note.  What sort of second finger do you have?
Violin 2 [blinking]: Oh.  Oh.  Low.
Me: Ah.  Yes.  Phew.

General hilarity ensued as they all realised the cause of the confusion.

We're Coming to Your Concert!

On Saturday, I was in a chamber music concert.  So, I told pretty much everyone I know - including my school quartets - that it was on.  To the juniors, I gave flyers as I don't have all their email addresses just yet.  Last week, then - after the obligatory "Let's scare the life out of our teacher as she arrives" - there were clamouring voices.

Girls: Ooh, ooh - we're coming to your concert! - Oh yeah, we're coming too!
Violin 1: My mum wants to go, so I get to go too!
Viola: My mum? She just wants to know a couple of things?  Here!  She wrote down the questions on the form.  Answer the questions!  [I wrote down answers]  So, last night, I practiced... [pause]
Me: Um... that's great! [I really thought there was going to be more of that sentence]
Viola: Yeah.  [nodding vigorously]  Oh!  Yeah, that's when I saw the note.  And showed it to her.  [very excited] So we should be coming, because mum and dad really want to go!

The Music Office Door

First thing this morning, I saw the violist from the junior quartet.  She had in her hand the 'contract' all the students in ensembles are required to sign (will turn up to all rehearsals and performances, and follow the director's instructions).

Viola: Ummm... What do I do with this?
Me: You know the music office door?
Viola: Ye- um... no...
Me: You know the music office?
Viola: Yes.
Me: And it has a front door?
Viola: Oh, yeah.
Me: That's the music office door.
Viola: Ohhhh...
Me: And it has the letterbox on the front.  You lift the lid, and you put in the contract.
Viola: Oh...  Okay.

There were varying levels of penny-dropping and confusion, from her, and varying levels of worry from me.

Thongs

Junior Quartet on Tuesday.  Packing up at the end.  This takes forever and usually includes the line "Can't we just do music all day?" (Did I mention I love my job?).  I have no idea how this began, or even if there was a why.

Viola: Oh, did you know, in England, thongs is another name for underwear?  [giggles all around] So if you're wearing thongs, it means something totally different.
Violin 1: What do they call thongs, then?
Viola [pronounced carefully, with a 'this is so weird' subtext]: Flip flops.
Cello: They call them flip flops in America, too.
Violin 2: They call them something weird in New Zealand.  Oh... um...
Me: Jandals.
Violin 2: Yeah.  Jandals. Why can't everyone just call them thongs?  That would be easier.  On everyone.
Viola: I know!  Now when I say I'm wearing thongs... Well...

Giggles. 

Not A Doctor

Junior Quartet this morning.  Visited by one of the cellists who is also in grade 5 this year (and was in my ensemble last year - the chatterbox).  This happened as we were heading down the stairs at the end of rehearsal.

Cello: No way!  Miss M, C just moved up to a three-quarter size cello!
C [obviously very pleased with this]: Yep!  It's cos my hands are bigger.
Me: Let's see.  [She holds up her hands].  Wow, your fingers are really long.  My hands are really small...
C:  How big are yours, let me see! [She tries to match up her right hand with my right, then I convince her to hold up her left].  No way!  Yours are tiny!
Me: Ah... yes. [Viola tries out as well, same result]
Cello: Well, Ms T said, my arm has grown... but...well... she's not a doctor...  So she wants to wait until my hand has grown as well, otherwise I might go flop [with accompanying arm-falling-down-the-cello action] and end up at the wrong end.