Shoulder Devil

One of my junior quartet violinists came to see me first thing this morning - before rehearsal - to organise a lesson time for the first week back.  The violist came in as well.

Violin: So, can I organise a lesson time?
Me: Sure.  What time would you like?
Violin [looking at the blank page]: Ummm...
Me: Really, you can have pretty much any time.  Does Tuesday work for you - same day as quartet?
Violin: Yes.  That would be good.  Umm...
Viola [peering over her shoulder]: You should do 12:30.  Then you don't have to last until lunch.
Violin [shaking her off]: No.  Um.
Me: Do you want 12:30?
Violin: No.  Um.  When else would be good...
Viola [whispering]: 12:30 12:30 12:30 12:30 12:30 12:30
Violin [actually batting her away]:  No, not 12:30.
Me: When would you like then?  Before morning tea?  Before lunch?
Viola: 12:30 12:30 12:30 12:30 hee hee hee I'm like [giggle] one of those [giggle] shoulder angels... oh wait... um... shoulder... devil...
Violin: Could I have... 9...?  Or 9:30...?
Me: Sure - which one?
Viola: Pick whichever one you want [whispering] 12:30 12:30 [normal] pick whichever one [whispering] 12:30 12:30 12:30
Violin: Agh!  Um -
Viola:  Pick whichever one you want [whispering] 12:30 12:30
Violin: Oh shush!  9:30 please.

The Art Critic

9-yr-old boy.  I started a painting which now stands at the top of the stairs, in the living room.  It has a violinist in it.

Boy: Um, Anna?  Is this you?
Me: Er- not really.  But it looks more like me than any other violinist I know, so maybe.
Boy [looking closer]: It's not a very good bow hold...
Me: Well, it's pretty small.  Have you tried to paint a bow hold that small?  With not a tiny paintbrush?  Trust me, it's not easy.
Boy: The left hand has a pretty good shape to it... I think...  [peering more closely] It's a bit hard to tell though...  But that sky is really cool!
Me: Phew.  Thanks!

Ninja Moves

This morning, the junior quartet performed for the first time in junior schooling assembly.  We had a rehearsal beforehand.  Originally, I was told we could practice in the assembly hall, but yesterday one of the girls saw me and ran up, very serious and wide-eyed: dance club would be in the hall - and they have loud music.  I thought I might be able to use the music room by the hall, but this morning there was another group was rehearsing in there.  So, having found the cellist, I went to the music room by the front driveway and next to the music office.  Thankfully, the other girls saw us as they arrived.  Before I saw the viola arrive, I walked out to the drive to check something with the first violinist's mum.  Turning back, I saw a flash of white-socked leg run into the classroom.  I walked in...

Viola [jumping up from just under a desk]: AGH!!!!! [best approximation of a yell]
Me: Yep.  Hi.  I saw you run in here.
Viola: I'm practising ninja moves.
Cello: ... why...?
Viola: This morning, my mum, at breakfast, she was just standing there, and then [does a fast squat with arms crossed out the front] hai-YA!  I got, like, such a shock.  I was, like, mum?  What are you doing?  And she said, I'm practising my stealth ninja moves.  So then I did it, like this [pauses, looks focused, then just the arm movement] hai-YA!  But then, mum said she was about to have a shower, so I got to the bathroom before her, and I put on a shower cap, like this [mimes] and made it really tight around my head, and then I hid in the shower, so when she came in - [squat, arms,] hai-YA! and- OH!  OH!  I just had the best idea!  We could be, like, the ninja moves quartet!

As it turned out, there were far more ninja stealth moves in rehearsal than anybody wanted, as there were several flies just flying around and landing on their bows and fingers and music.  How to keep the adrenaline pumping.  And I am pleased to report they spoke their parts and played their music beautifully.  One very proud teacher here.

Violin Vs Choir Tour

9-yr-old boy, who doesn't like playing violin.  His dad comes to every lesson.

Dad: Now, next week there's a bit of a problem.  We won't be able to come to a lesson, because J will be on choir tour!
Me: Ooh, that's exciting.
Boy [whinging]: But I don't want to go on choir tour!
Dad: Well, I tell you what.  Next week, you don't have to come to violin.  How about that?
Boy: No!  Violin is much better than choir tour!
Me: Wow.
Dad: But - you've never been on a choir tour.  How would you know if you'll like it or not?
Boy: But I know I won't like it!  I want to do violin instead! [Really?  He must really not want to do this tour]
Dad: So maybe we should leave Toowomba really early on Saturday morning, and come back for a violin lesson, and then go back and join the tour again?

Poor kid.  Sounds like an awful weekend ahead for him.  Mwahahahaha.

Odd Sibling Behaviour

I picked up a grade 4 girl for her lesson today.  She has a sister - let's call her Alice - in grade 6, and they don't get on brilliantly.

Girl [surprised]: Alice is actually really nice.
Me [skeptical]: Alice - as in, your sister Alice?
Girl: Yeah, she got out of Japanese to come and see how I was.
Me: Did she?  Your sister came to see you?
Girl: Yeah.  She was seeing if I was okay.  F [in grade 3] hit me at morning tea today, and Alice was checking I was all right.
Me: Wow.  Are you okay?
Girl: Well, I still have a scratch on my face [still visible] and he hit my arm which is still sore-
Me: Which arm?
Girl: My right arm...
Me: Hm... This is your sister we're talking about, yes?
Girl: I know.  Weird, right?  Normally siblings... Well, they fight.  A lot.  They're not nice to each other. 

Sharps In Brackets

9-yr-old girl has just started learning a jazzy piece with lots of 'blue' notes.  It's in the key of A major (F#, C#, G#).

Me [pointing to the first C# in the piece]: Is this a high 2, or a low 2?
Girl [promptly]: High.  Because it's not got a natural, and it's a C, and there's a C# in the key signature.
Me [pointing to the C in the second bar]:  How about this one?
Girl [promptly]: Low. 
Me: Because?
Girl [like she's talking to someone a bit slow]: Because there's a natural in front of it, and that takes away the sharp.
Me: Good.  How about this second finger?
Girl: Umm..  High.  I think.  Why is the sharp in brackets?
Me: What do you think that means?
Girl: It's optional?
Me: Er- no.  Although I like the idea. But, can you imagine if you had a whole orchestra doing optional sharps?  [girl starts giggling] It would be madness! 
Girl [still giggling]: It would sound - blergh...
Me: Exactly.  So they're actually trying to be nice to you, because in the bar beforehand that note was natural. 
Girl: Oh.  And is that the same here and - wow.  They're everywhere!

Ah, Geography (Part 2)

The same boy as the last post.  We were now looking at The Entertainer.

Me: Who wrote this piece?
Boy: Um... [I point and, internally, roll my eyes] Oh.  Scott... Joh..pline...
Me: Scott Jop-lin.  Where do you think this guy is from?
Boy: France?
Me: Er, no.
Boy: Ooh, England!
Me: No - but somewhere they speak English.
Boy: Um... Italy!
Me: Ah... no.  Could he be Australian? 
Boy [shaking his head]: I don't think so.
Me: But don't we speak English here?
Boy: Yeah, but I don't think he's from here. [under his breath] Scot...
Me: No, he's not from Scotland.
Boy: I know that.  Oh!  Where else speaks English?  That's not England?
Me [knowing this could take forever]: Do they speak English in America?  Could he be American? [I start nodding really obviously]
Boy [looking rather unconvinced]: Yes?
Me: Yes.  Scott Joplin was American. 

Ah, Geography

[Great.  It just took me 3 tries to spell 'Geography'.  In the title.  I got it right first time, in this sentence].

9-yr-old boy, whose dad sits in on the lesson.  Boy has a pair of Iranian grandparents.  He'd accidentally brought his brother's violin, 2 sizes too big for him, so we were doing some theory and general knowledge at the start of the lesson.  We started with Barcarolle, by Jacques Offenbach.

Me [inner smirk - this is always entertaining]: Who wrote this piece?
Boy [squinting]: Jack...wez... Off... batch...
Me: I know it doesn't look like it, but his first name is zhark, and his second name is Off-en-bark.  [boy looks skeptical] Trust me.  Where do you think he's from?
Boy: Iran?
Me: Umm... no.  His first name is... [stunned look on boy's face] from France, and his second name is German.  He's actually German.

We then went on to talk about the name of the piece, and what it means.  It's from a French opera, which doesn't really help.

Me: So, we have this guy with a French first name, and a German last name, writing an opera in French... [boy starts to giggle]... and this song is a boat song from Venice [his dad laughs].  Do you know where Venice is?
Boy: France?
Me: Er - no.  This country starts with the letter "I".
Boy [quickly]: Iran!
Me: I knew you were going to say that!  No, this country is where pizza comes from... and spaghetti... Ferraris [running out of ideas]
Boy's dad: Where are Italians from?
Boy: Oh, Italy!!!

We then had a delightful discussion about Venice and not riding a bike to school through the canal.  Unless it's a hover bike.

Viola Problems

Junior Quartet Tuesday.

Viola: I ... um... the A string broke on my viola.  So I can't play.
Me: Okay, so you just need a new string?
Viola: No... um... I don't have my viola.
Me: But you're just missing a string?
Viola: No, it broke in ensemble yesterday, and then I had to go, so Ms L said just to leave it there, and now I can't find it.
Me: Have you ... looked ... for it?
Viola: Um...
Violin 2: You should look in the chalet [where the string department is].  It's probably there.

Viola came back with a viola - not hers, but with all its strings intact.  Then, on Wednesday, she came up to her lesson at morning tea with Mr B.  With no viola, but a sheepish smile on her face when she saw me.

Viola: Hi.  Um, my teacher wouldn't let me go.
Mr B: Well, I don't have anyone now so can you come now?
Viola: Well [awkward glance at me] my A string broke.
Mr B: That's okay, I can put a new one on for you.
Me: Do you know where your viola is now?
Viola looks rather guilty.
Mr B: You - you lost your viola?
Viola [defensively]: Well, I didn't lose it, I just can't find it.  [Gives same explanation as above].
Me: Have you actually looked in the room?
Viola: I couldn't get in-
Me: Did you maybe knock on the staffroom door and ask if any of the teachers there could have a look for you?
Viola: Um...
Mr B: Well, you know what, I have a key so let's go and have a look now.

He's so nice.  It was right where she'd left it.  Now it has all its strings.

A 'D' Birthday

This boy is the younger (by about 6 years) of two boys.  He's small for his age, too, and is babied (in my opinion) by his brother and dad, who are always in the lessons.

Boy's dad: You might notice a slightly different J this week... [babying voice] Because he's had a birthday.
Me: I thought so!  So you're 9 now, aren't you?
Boy [downcast]: Yeah.  [pause] But I want to be 8 again.  I liked being 8.
Me: I understand.  Not much you can do about it though.
Boy's dad: Maybe, we should not have any cake, or presents, tomorrow?
Boy: Could I have a 'D' party?
Me [in my head - a what?  Have I misheard?  Am I really getting so old and behind the times...?]
Boy's dad [after a slight pause, with a look of confusion on his face too]: A what? [phew]
Boy: A 'D' party.
Boy's dad: What's a 'D' party?
Boy: You know.  Where I get a 'D' and have to go back to being 8.

Ah.  So, failing at being 9.  Not a bad concept.

Making It Jazzy

9-yr-old boy, just started learning The Entertainer.  Apparently, this is a scary piece.  I decided to work on small chunks instead of tackling the whole piece, and we did the end of the first section first (do re mi do re mi-- do re do mi do re mi-- do re do mi do re mi-- ti,re-- do----).  His first play of it was accurate, but deadly boring.

Me: So, that was fine... But I think we might be able to make it a bit more interesting, don't you?
Boy: Ummm... I guess...
Me: Well, this piece is from the jazz era, so how could we make it sound more like jazz?
Boy: Like, um, like, oh, what's the word... shta-catt-o?
Me: Staccato?
Boy: Yes!
Me: I thought you might say that.  How about this? [I play it, with very short notes.  His face remained passive].  Was it jazzy?  Your face doesn't look convinced.  [Boy grins].  How about, if we made every do with a bit of accent?
Boy: Yeah... [I played - it's not that easy.  His face remained passive, again].
Me: You still don't look convinced.  How about... If we made every mi with an accent?
[Boy looks unconvinced, gives me that "I have a crazy teacher" look].
Me: Let's give it a go, anyway.  [I played, so it sounded more like this: do re MI do re MI-- do re do MI do re MI-- do re do MI do re MI-- ti,re-- do----.  By the 3rd MI, his face had lit up].  That's  more like it - now you look convinced!
Boy [grinning and enthusiastic]: Yeah!  That's the way I want to do it!

And he played it exactly the same way.  But with more of a smile on his face.

Violins in Cellos

9-yr-old boy, uses a school violin.  The string department at school (including the instrument storage space) is housed in an area called the chalet (I'm not quite sure why).  This was while he was packing up.

Boy: I'm going to Sydney for the whole holidays.
Me: And are you taking your whole violin?
Boy: Nnnnoooo... Unless I have a smaller case.  Can I get a smaller case?
Me: You'd only be able to get a smaller case if you detached bits of your violin.  [Unfortunately, he looked enthusiastic with this prospect].  Which is the same as breaking your violin.  So, don't...
Boy [all packed up]: Oh... I'm going to put my violin in the cello now.
Me: In the ... chalet?
Boy: Yep. 
Me: Yeah, don't try to put it in the cello.  They... wouldn't like that.

[Cue giggles as he leaves the room, encountering a mate who had just finished his cello lesson].

The Music Office Door

First thing this morning, I saw the violist from the junior quartet.  She had in her hand the 'contract' all the students in ensembles are required to sign (will turn up to all rehearsals and performances, and follow the director's instructions).

Viola: Ummm... What do I do with this?
Me: You know the music office door?
Viola: Ye- um... no...
Me: You know the music office?
Viola: Yes.
Me: And it has a front door?
Viola: Oh, yeah.
Me: That's the music office door.
Viola: Ohhhh...
Me: And it has the letterbox on the front.  You lift the lid, and you put in the contract.
Viola: Oh...  Okay.

There were varying levels of penny-dropping and confusion, from her, and varying levels of worry from me.

Birthday Swap

9-yr-old boy. 

Boy: Oh... That concert isn't on my birthday is it?
Me: When's your birthday?  It's in May, right?
Boy: Yep.  May the 24th. 
Me: And you're turning... 9?
Boy: 10. 
Me: Well, that explains why you're so tall.
Boy: Oh ... Wait... My dad and I are swapping.
Me: You're swapping?
Boy [starting to giggle]: Yep.  He's going to be turning 10, I'm going to be turning 39.
Me: 39?!
Boy: Yep, I'll be 39.  So... Actually... My birthday is now going to be April... No... March 30.
Me: Wow.  So you'll be the oldest person in your class!
Boy [big grin]: Yep!

The Chatterbox (2)

At the end of the last ensemble for the year, this 9-yr-old girl approached me.

Girl: So... [matter-of-fact] You must be happy you don't have to deal with us any more.
Me [smiling]: Actually, I really enjoy taking this group.  It is a lot of fun.
Girl [in that awkward way*]: Umm... Yeah.  What I really meant was, you must be happy you don't have to deal with C the Chatterbox anymore.
Me: Umm ......... Yes.  [Entertaining as this kid is, there's only so much rehearsing one can do with that level of chatter].


*That awkward way of showing, I was trying to be tactful, but now you're going to make me come right out and say it, aren't you?!

Feet

Quartet rehearsal this morning.  Just beginning, and the cellist starts trying to play and untie her right shoelace at the same time. 

Cello: Agh!  It's just... um... agh... too hot... agh... [shoe comes off]  Oh, can I go, like, really quickly, to the bathroom?  Please?
Me: Be really quick.  [cello gets up] Do you realise you've...
Cello: Yep.  I'm going to be really quick so no-one sees me looking like a dork.
Viola [giggling]: That looks so weird.  But it's kinda like me.  I sleep that way.
Me: With one shoe...?
Viola: No, with one foot under the covers and the other one out.
Violin 1: I often sleep with both feet out.
Viola: Yeah, my mum says I've done this, like, forever.  Unless it's really hot, and then I'm just, like, [thrashes around in her chair] AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!! and both feet stay out.
Cello [returning, all business]: Okay, I don't think anyone saw me.  [everyone's looking at her].  What?

This is not the first One Shoe On episode from this cellist.  I found out at the end that she has an ingrown toenail, which is why she keeps wanting that shoe off.

Chatterbox

At the start of ensemble rehearsal, one of the cellists (who sits inside 2nd desk) came up to me.

Girl [smiling nervously]: Um... Can I ask you a question? 
Me: Sure, what is it?
Girl: Well... and I'm pretty sure you're going to say no...
Me [suspicious]: Uh huh...
Girl: But I want to ask you anyway.
Me: Okay. [wait]
Girl: Is there any chance I can sit next to G today?
Me: Umm...
Girl: It's just that, um, you might have noticed, I sit next to... um [tries to find a polite way to say this] well, um, she's a bit of a chatterbox. [No kidding.  Chattiest child in the room, ever].
Me [trying not to smile too much]: Ah, yes... I had noticed that.  G would have to sit in the back row with you though - have you asked her if it's okay?
G [jumping into view at hearing her name]: What do I have to do?
Girl: Sit next to me, so... the chatterbox... can be not next to me.
Me: So we'd have S and C [the chatterbox] in the front, and the 2 of you at the back.

G was fine with it, and it turned out to be really good for C to sit right under my nose.  Of course, it meant I had one very energetic (and thankfully, very capable) cellist sitting next to a very energetic and chatty cellist...  But the chatterbox didn't move her chair around or move over to talk to the double bass or run outside randomly or any of the other things she does that are not sitting quietly.

Gathering Instruments

Because double basses are large, the kids usually use a school instrument for rehearsals.  If the string director hasn't brought it down before my rehearsal, I'm begged by a few girls if they can please go and get the double bass.  Today, one of my viola players got in first - and I said yes.  Once it was present, we had the following:

Viola: Okay, where do I put it? [we had a different orientation for our set up today]
Me: Over there [pointing to the double bass stool]
Viola [from about a metre further to the right than she needed to be]: Um, where do I put the double bass?
Me [slowly]: Over there... Right next to the double bass stool.
Viola [looks around, almost does a 360 degree turn, eventually spots the stool, puts down the bass].
Double bass: Um, can I go and get the right bow?  This is... just ... it's wrong.  It's the wrong bow.
Me: Yep, go.
Double bass [dramatically]: Thank you.
Viola [looking at me rather blankly, eventually says]: Oh.  I need a viola.  I was so busy getting the double bass, I forgot I need my viola for this.  Can I go and get my viola?
Me [a little dumbfounded]: Ah... yes...  It does help. [Thinking - oh she's such a viola player!!!]

Vampire

Start of today's rehearsal, setting up.

9-yr-old girl: Oh wow, you're so white!
Me: Umm, yes... You've only just noticed?
Girl:Well, yes but you're really white!  I mean, normally your top would be down here [she pulls my sleeve past my elbow] but today we can see your elbow [putting my sleeve back where it was before].
10-yr-old girl: Ah - you realise you just called her a vampire?!


9-yr-old checked later that I wasn't offended by what she'd said.  Considering the fact that she's just as pale as me, I wasn't - merely amused.

Five Husbands - Age Logic

I mentioned to the girl who thinks I have five husbands that the new string teacher and I went to the same school, and that teacher was a year or 2 older than me. 

 

Girl: Okay... how old are you? 

Me: How old do you think I am? 

Girl: 15? 

Me: How would I have 5 husbands? I'm pretty sure that's illegal. 

Girl: oh...50? 

Me: (glare) 

Girl: 20? 

Me: That's a better number, let's stay there.