Conductors

A little one, 7 or 8 years old, had been learning for a couple of years.  So she was one of the youngest in the school ensemble.  Plus, very bright (if a little shy).

Girl [a bit excited and nervous]: Um... At school this week... In ensemble... I got to conduct.
Me: Did you?!  Wow!  How exciting!
Girl [grinning]: Yes.
Me: Were you scared at all?
Girl [matter-of-factly]: No.  Not really.  No-one watches the conductor.  I was pretty sure they wouldn't watch me either.

So true.

Watching Too Much

Last year, I conducted the young string group.  Everyone knows that nobody watches the conductor - but I was trying very hard to get them to watch.  As it turned out, not entirely futilely.  On a day when they'd all been given sugar just before the rehearsal (thanks, whoever was responsible for that one), one of the girls then crashed into her stand.  It was like she just fell off the front of her chair, into the music stand, which then fell over taking the folder and all its music with it, followed by kids from random places around the room getting up with their instruments trying to help, causing more mayhem. 

Me [to stand-crashing girl]: Are you okay?
Girl [a little embarrassed]: Yes...
Me: Are you sure?
Girl: Um, yep...  I ... Can I get some-
Girl 2: Ooh, ooh, I'll get her some ice!
Girl 3: Can I get her some ice too?  I'll help! 
Girl 4: I know where it is!
Me: Everyone sit down.  [instructions for calm collection of ice pack from the adjacent staff room followed.  Girl 1 was still looking a bit shaken and sheepish]  Are you sure you're okay?
Girl: Um, yes... I was- I was just- I was watching you.  Like, like this [proceeds to do an intense stare that pulls her head forward, and her whole body starts coming forward as well...]
Me: Stop!  I get the picture.  No need to do this all over again.
Girl: Oh yeah. 

Not So Rockin'

New Junior Quartet started this morning (all grade 5 girls, aged 9-10).  Three of them were in the junior string ensemble (called Vivo) last year, but they're all in the next one up this year, called Corelli.  The following was actually heard in the real time of grade 5 girls, who don't wait for one to finish before jumping in and telling me their own version, but for ease of writing and reading, I've separated them a bit.

Viola:  Oh my goodness, Corelli is so hard!  The music -
Violin 2: It's so much harder than Vivo.
Cello: We're doing this piece, and it's, just, there was this one bar -
Violin 1: I was in it last year... I don't think it's that hard...
Cello: So, this piece has one bar - [general giggling] - no!  I mean, ha - that would be funny, if it was just this one bar for the whole piece -
Viola [demonstrating in a very 'viola' fashion]: blah... blah ... blah ... blah...
Cello: No, I mean, okay, so  - oh, the piece, it's called Rockin' Rondo - which, by the way, it is soooo not rockin' - and...

And after that they got even more distracted with playing different bits of music and having music fall off the stand... etc... etc...

Mrs N

I took over my ensemble this year as the former conductor was on maternity leave.  I'm of average height, dark brown hair, and not pregnant (fairly fit, in fact).  The other teacher (Mrs N) is about the same height, light blonde hair, and was rather pregnant when she left to have her baby.  Occasionally, a child would slip up and call me Mrs N instead of Miss M.  One child just couldn't get her brain to change though.

Girl [distracted]: Mrs N...?
Me:.... Ummm....
Girl [suddenly coming to]: Oh!  Mrs... Mrs... Miss... Miss M?!
Me [smiling]: Yes, J?
Girl: I'm so sorry.  I just... I keep calling you Mrs N!
Me: Yeah, I noticed.  But that's okay.  I'll just start calling you... Annabelle... every time you call me Mrs N.  There are enough of them in this group.
Girl [giggling]: Okay... So, Mrs N...
Me [I can't believe this happened right away!]: Yes, Annabelle? [All the actual Annabelles congregate upon hearing their name]
Girl: Oh no!  I did it again!  I mean, Miss M...?
Me: Yes, J?
Girl [looking down]: Oh... Wait.  I can't remember what I was going to say...
Annabelles: Which one of us do you want?  What do you need?
Me: Oh, nothing.  It's just when someone calls me Mrs N I'll call them Annabelle. 
Annabelles: Even F? [the only boy in the group]
Me: Yes, even F.

Cue riotous giggles.

The Chatterbox (2)

At the end of the last ensemble for the year, this 9-yr-old girl approached me.

Girl: So... [matter-of-fact] You must be happy you don't have to deal with us any more.
Me [smiling]: Actually, I really enjoy taking this group.  It is a lot of fun.
Girl [in that awkward way*]: Umm... Yeah.  What I really meant was, you must be happy you don't have to deal with C the Chatterbox anymore.
Me: Umm ......... Yes.  [Entertaining as this kid is, there's only so much rehearsing one can do with that level of chatter].


*That awkward way of showing, I was trying to be tactful, but now you're going to make me come right out and say it, aren't you?!

Chatterbox

At the start of ensemble rehearsal, one of the cellists (who sits inside 2nd desk) came up to me.

Girl [smiling nervously]: Um... Can I ask you a question? 
Me: Sure, what is it?
Girl: Well... and I'm pretty sure you're going to say no...
Me [suspicious]: Uh huh...
Girl: But I want to ask you anyway.
Me: Okay. [wait]
Girl: Is there any chance I can sit next to G today?
Me: Umm...
Girl: It's just that, um, you might have noticed, I sit next to... um [tries to find a polite way to say this] well, um, she's a bit of a chatterbox. [No kidding.  Chattiest child in the room, ever].
Me [trying not to smile too much]: Ah, yes... I had noticed that.  G would have to sit in the back row with you though - have you asked her if it's okay?
G [jumping into view at hearing her name]: What do I have to do?
Girl: Sit next to me, so... the chatterbox... can be not next to me.
Me: So we'd have S and C [the chatterbox] in the front, and the 2 of you at the back.

G was fine with it, and it turned out to be really good for C to sit right under my nose.  Of course, it meant I had one very energetic (and thankfully, very capable) cellist sitting next to a very energetic and chatty cellist...  But the chatterbox didn't move her chair around or move over to talk to the double bass or run outside randomly or any of the other things she does that are not sitting quietly.

Gathering Instruments

Because double basses are large, the kids usually use a school instrument for rehearsals.  If the string director hasn't brought it down before my rehearsal, I'm begged by a few girls if they can please go and get the double bass.  Today, one of my viola players got in first - and I said yes.  Once it was present, we had the following:

Viola: Okay, where do I put it? [we had a different orientation for our set up today]
Me: Over there [pointing to the double bass stool]
Viola [from about a metre further to the right than she needed to be]: Um, where do I put the double bass?
Me [slowly]: Over there... Right next to the double bass stool.
Viola [looks around, almost does a 360 degree turn, eventually spots the stool, puts down the bass].
Double bass: Um, can I go and get the right bow?  This is... just ... it's wrong.  It's the wrong bow.
Me: Yep, go.
Double bass [dramatically]: Thank you.
Viola [looking at me rather blankly, eventually says]: Oh.  I need a viola.  I was so busy getting the double bass, I forgot I need my viola for this.  Can I go and get my viola?
Me [a little dumbfounded]: Ah... yes...  It does help. [Thinking - oh she's such a viola player!!!]

Vampire

Start of today's rehearsal, setting up.

9-yr-old girl: Oh wow, you're so white!
Me: Umm, yes... You've only just noticed?
Girl:Well, yes but you're really white!  I mean, normally your top would be down here [she pulls my sleeve past my elbow] but today we can see your elbow [putting my sleeve back where it was before].
10-yr-old girl: Ah - you realise you just called her a vampire?!


9-yr-old checked later that I wasn't offended by what she'd said.  Considering the fact that she's just as pale as me, I wasn't - merely amused.

Sleepyhead

Walking through the playground, I could see 2 girls from my ensemble.  Girl 1 waved vigorously (think someone drowning in the surf) and ran over; Girl 2 followed less energetically.  I don't use their names here - obviously they didn't refer to each other as girl 1 and girl 2.

Girl 1: Mrs M!  Mrs M!  Mrs M!
Me: Hello!
Girl 1: Um, just to let you know. 
[Girl 2 starts nodding her head to the side].
Girl 1: Girl 2 is having some medication...
[Girl 2 tucks her hands under her chin in sleeping fashion].
Girl 1: ...for her teeth...
[Girl 2 starts miming snoring; I try not to laugh]
Girl 1: ...and it's -
[Girl 2 starts snoring]
Girl 1:  - what?  [giggles] - oh yeah, it's making her sleepy.  So we don't know how she'll be this afternoon.
Girl 2:  Yeah, I might be falling asleep, but I'll try to stay awake!

Boring Holidays

First day back at school today.  I spotted one of the girls who's in my ensemble as she was coming back from a piano lesson.  Big smiles.

Me: How are you?
Girl: Good!
Me: How was your holiday?
Girl: Good! ... Okay... [a bit flatter] Well, boring.
Me: Oh.  [hopefully] But you did lots of practice, right?
Girl: Yes! [flatter] A bit... [even flatter] Well, no.
Me: I'm going to take that last answer as the most correct, yes?
Girl [sigh]: Yes.

While I Was Sitting Here

The piece I'm working on with my ensemble is one I've written myself, based on 2 songs they all know really well from school (One, Two, Three and Apple Tree).  Last week, near the end of the rehearsal, one of the viola players put up her hand.

Girl: So, while I was sitting here,  I thought up a rap version, and a jazz version, and an opera version.
Me: Ooh, can I hear them?
Girl: ummm... next week?

This week, I got to hear the 3 different versions.  I wish I could record them and upload it here - the viola player and a friend sang One, Two, Three first as a rap (complete with hand movements), then very seriously for opera (with a bit of vibrato), then a very groovy jazz version, which had us all swaying along and clicking.  I laughed so much my face went red.

If you don't know the song, it goes like this:

One,       two,        three
so           la            so
 
John-ny caught a  flea
so     so    la     la  so

Flea       died,       John-ny cried
so          mi           so     so   mi

One,      two,        three
so          mi            do

Mothers

After ensemble, there was a mum sitting on the bench outside the room.  There were a few girls hanging around in the rehearsal room, and I wanted to check that the mum wasn't waiting for one of them.

Me: Is that anyone's mum?
Girl 1: No... My mum has short hair.  Like, really short hair.
Me: Yeah, I knew it wasn't your mum.
Girl 2: Well, it's not my mum.
Me: I knew it wasn't your mum either, really.
Girl 2: How do you know what my mum looks like?  You haven't seen my mum, have you?
Me: Yes I have, at our performances.
Girl 2: Well, what does she look like?
Me: Like a taller, older version of you.  With shorter hair.
Girl 2: No she doesn't!
Girls 1, 3 &4: Yes.  Yes, she does.

Rehearsal Alphabet

Currently, my ensemble is working on a piece that has rehearsal letters up to H.  Last week, we had several cases of me saying, play from C, and half the group playing from E (for example).  One girl tried to work out a Letter for Animal alphabet.  This week, she'd got a working list up to H.  While choosing a sticker afterwards, she told me what they were:

A is for Ant
B is for Bee (B is?  yes, for Bee, as in, you know, a Bee - for reduction of confusion, this might turn into B is for Bumblebee)
C is for Cat
D is for Dog
E is for Elephant
F is for Frog
G is for Giraffe
H is for Hippo

I hope I can remember all these next week!  I'm curious what 'I' would be...

The Riot

A new piece in ensemble.  A very messy bit, which shouldn't be.

Me: Violins and violas go ti-ti ta ti-ti ta, cellos and double bass ti-ti ti-ti ti-ti ta, violins and violas ti-ti ti-ti ta cellos and double bass ti-ti ti-ti everyone ti-ti ta.
9-yr-old (enthusiastically): So, it's like we're having a riot!
Me: Ah, yes, I guess it is a bit...
Another 9-yr-old: Ooh, and our bows are like guns and we can shoot everyone and-
Me: Let's not go nuts. 

Psycho/Psychic

Handing out stickers to my string ensemble students.  The next girl's folder has green and silver stars around the name tag, with silver at either end.
9-yr-old girl: Could I... please... have.... ummm...
Me: ...a green star?
9-yr-old, indignantly: How did you know that?! You're not psycho!
Me, laughing: Ah - do you mean psychic...?
9-yr-old, startled: Oh!  Yes.  Sorry.