Conductors

A little one, 7 or 8 years old, had been learning for a couple of years.  So she was one of the youngest in the school ensemble.  Plus, very bright (if a little shy).

Girl [a bit excited and nervous]: Um... At school this week... In ensemble... I got to conduct.
Me: Did you?!  Wow!  How exciting!
Girl [grinning]: Yes.
Me: Were you scared at all?
Girl [matter-of-factly]: No.  Not really.  No-one watches the conductor.  I was pretty sure they wouldn't watch me either.

So true.

Watching Too Much

Last year, I conducted the young string group.  Everyone knows that nobody watches the conductor - but I was trying very hard to get them to watch.  As it turned out, not entirely futilely.  On a day when they'd all been given sugar just before the rehearsal (thanks, whoever was responsible for that one), one of the girls then crashed into her stand.  It was like she just fell off the front of her chair, into the music stand, which then fell over taking the folder and all its music with it, followed by kids from random places around the room getting up with their instruments trying to help, causing more mayhem. 

Me [to stand-crashing girl]: Are you okay?
Girl [a little embarrassed]: Yes...
Me: Are you sure?
Girl: Um, yep...  I ... Can I get some-
Girl 2: Ooh, ooh, I'll get her some ice!
Girl 3: Can I get her some ice too?  I'll help! 
Girl 4: I know where it is!
Me: Everyone sit down.  [instructions for calm collection of ice pack from the adjacent staff room followed.  Girl 1 was still looking a bit shaken and sheepish]  Are you sure you're okay?
Girl: Um, yes... I was- I was just- I was watching you.  Like, like this [proceeds to do an intense stare that pulls her head forward, and her whole body starts coming forward as well...]
Me: Stop!  I get the picture.  No need to do this all over again.
Girl: Oh yeah. 

Music Critic

16-yr-old girl, who has season tickets to QSO, and takes scores along with her of the relevant works.

Girl: Oh, the QSO concert was terrible!  The conductor didn't have a clear beat at all, he was just [waves arms in a circular, egg-beater pattern]...
Me: Like a choral conductor?
Girl: There was just... no beat!  And he didn't bring in the strings, and because he had no beat they had no idea, only the cellos managed to come in in time.  [pause - then, a little apologetically]  I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes, being so critical of others when I can't play that well.
Me: But they're professionals, they're meant to get it right.
Girl [brightening]: Well, yeah.
Me: Have you thought about being a music critic?
Girl [gasping, wide-eyed with delight]: That's an actual job?!?!  That would be awesome!!! And perfect for me!