The Castle

15-yr-old girl.  We'd stopped playing for some reason.

Girl: Ooh, can I ask you something, like, totally off-topic?
Me: Um, sure...
Girl: Okay, well, have you seen the movie, The Castle?  From, like, 1997?
Me [smiling]: Yes.
Girl [really enthusiastically]: We watched it on the weekend.  It is so funny!  Now I know where all the things my dad say are from.  It was hilarious!!! [It's true - her dad is very Castle-like].  And the narrator - like, "My brother and I are really close. 
- How's dad?
- Good.
- How's mum?
- Good.
- How are you?
- Aright."
So funny!!

Major Disaster

Discussing intervals with a 10-yr-old.  We'd talked 'perfect'.  Now for major and minor.

Me: So, if we forget this is music, what's major?  Like, a major ... disaster [the recent events of our country at the forefront of my mind].
Girl [quite seriously]: Bad.  Really bad.
Me: What if it was... um... they're all negative examples in my head... Okay.  What about a minor problem?  What would that be?
Girl: Not good.  But small.
Me [relieved]: Yes.  Minor is small, major is big.

Trampoline Size

11-yr-old viola student.  Wet hair.

Me: Is your hair wet because you've been swimming, or because you've been running around in the rain?
Girl: Um... I was jumping on the trampoline.  With my friend.  In the rain.  [Grinning]  It was fun.
[Later] We were jumping with washing detergent on the trampoline.
Me [not exactly sure what she meant]: Could you explain that one?
Girl: There was a trampoline.  It had washing detergent on it.  And it was raining.  We were jumping.  It was slippery...  Oh, and the trampoline is puny.  Like, the same size as that table.  ... Oh... wait... No, it's a bit bigger.  Like, maybe 4 times bigger. [Starting to giggle uncontrollably] Or even 5 times bigger.
Me: Mm, good size estimation there.

I did point out (while she recovered from that batch of giggles) that I was glad she had survived with no injured extremities or trips to the hospital.

Five Husbands - Sneak Peak (2)

The sneak peak for next year had a second part (you can see the first bit here).  I was already reeling from the projected turn of events, and my jaw had no doubt dropped.  But she continued.

Girl:  ...and... [a bit excited]... next year... you're going to have a child!  [Eyes very wide]  And she's going to be [voice drops for maximum impact] just - like - me!
Me: [splutter]
Girl [normally, back to excited]: Isn't that great?! 
Me: I- I'm not sure that I'm ready to have kids so soon...
Girl [matter-of-fact]: So, you have to start thinking of names.

Agh!

The Giraffe Joke

At this point, I was teaching a girl of 7.  Her 5-yr-old sister was always in the lesson as well (very well-behaved).  Neither girl was particularly tall - the younger one was about as tall as my navel.  At the end of this lesson, the little one gave me a hug (fairly standard procedure), and, still with her arms wrapped around me, looked up.

Girl: Miss Anna, do you know why giraffes have such long necks?
Me [smiling at the irony]: No... why do giraffes have such long necks?
Girl [starting to giggle]: Because... because they have smelly feet!!!

Five Husbands - Sneak Peak (1)

Straight after telling me I had no feelings, the girl who thinks I have five husbands offered me this.

Girl: So, do you want a sneak peak for next year?  [I nod, possibly a little nervously]. Okay.  So [very serious expression on her face] ... one of them is going to risk his life for you.  [Not so serious now] And two of them... Andrew and Harry... will get sick of sharing you, and they'll turn gay and get together. 

Yeah, cos that's totally how it works.

Favourite Food

I asked a 6-yr-old what her favourite food was (we needed a rhythm for a particular piece).

Girl [thoughtful]: Ooh... Um... Chocolate sundae.
Me: Yum, what do you like in your chocolate sundae?
Girl [quite animated]: Ice cream... and chocolate sauce... and nuts... and whipped cream... oh, and a strawberry on top.  [knowledgeably] Strawberry is a fruit, so it's healthy!

I kind of choked, trying not to laugh too much.