How To Play a Tango

This is not really a quote, but I'm including it anyway.  Junior Quartet [with no viola].  They'd played a piece I'd arranged for them, a tango.  It was okay, but not very tango-like.

Me: How could you play this more like a tango?
Violin 1 does a sharp breath in through her nose, stands up very straight with her bow in her mouth like it is a rose, and starts doing tango-style steps around her chair.
Violin 2 sees that, and puts her bow in her mouth as well, and does similar moves.
Cello then puts her bow in her mouth and dances with her cello with ballroom dancing-style moves.

I try not to laugh too much as I can see a potential disaster.
Me: Um... Okay.  Bows out of mouths.  So that's how we could act a tango.  How does that work in playing a tango?
Violin 1 [taking out her bow, sitting down]: Ooh!  Like this-
She sits down, her back over-arched, and does strong full bows with her bow in the air, sharply inhaling and exhaling with every stroke, and a slight torso movement side to side.

Me: Exactly.

The great thing about this quartet is that, although they are not very focused for very long, they work hard when they are switched on, and they practice!  Once we've discussed how to make something better, they then do it and (usually) remember for the next time.

Andante - What It Sounds Like

Going through some musical terms with an 11-yr-old girl.

Me: What does Andante mean?
Girl: I have no idea.
Me: Take a guess.  What does it sound like?  [slowly] An-dahn-tay.
Girl [skeptical]: Like an aunt?
Me: Er - nooo... [I do the 'let your fingers do the walking' thing with my fingers]
Girl: Creepy?
Me: Ahem.  Walking.  My fingers are walking.  Andante is walking pace.

Such a Cute Niece

I recently put up a photo of each of my nieces and nephews (5 in total).  They're all pretty cute, but the photo of the younger niece is totally sweet.  12-yr-old girl (with a short attention span - and her mum knows this so the girl has a slightly longer lesson each week) comments on it every week.

Girl: Awww!!!  That- she's so... cute!!!  That basketball - will you play with me?  Awww...  And just looking up, like, oh.  So. Sweet.
Me: Yeah, she is pretty cute.
Girl: How old is she?
Me: In that photo she's 18 months.
Girl: And the rest of them!  So cute!  Aww - who's the little guy at the end?
Me: That's A - the lower 4 photos were all taken at his 2nd birthday party.
Girl: Ohhh - and who's the sweet little girl hiding behind the tree?
Me: That's his big sister, C, who's 4-
Girl: And the [giggle] kid with blue paint?
Me: That's H - and it's not paint, it's icing [girl raises eyebrows] - kids like blue icing.  On birthday cakes.  Especially boys.
Girl: Okay, that's pretty cute.  And the-
Me: That's the oldest, O - that was taken last year, but he's just turned 7 now.
Girl: Oh, nice.  And- [shaking head] wow.  She's just... so... cute... And she looks a little bit like you.
Me [raised eyebrows]: Um...
Girl: Well, you know, you've got darker hair... and yours is a bit longer and all.  Oh, and you're taller.  Obviously.  And you're not holding a basket ball that's, like, half your size.  Practically.  And you're not wearing a sweet little pink dress and oh look at the shoes!  They're so-
Me: Yeah, they are pretty sweet.  Ahem - could you play that piece now please?
Girl: What?  Oh.  I guess- agh! She'ssocute!  Okay.  Focus.  Right.

Last Week, At Music Camp

11-yr-old girl was away one week because she was on music camp - one that requires an audition, and the honours camp gets to go away to music camp for a whole week.  It's exciting.  She also just got a new violin, about 4 weeks beforehand.  The week after camp, in her lesson:

Girl: Oh yeah, last week at music camp-
Me: Oh!  I forgot!  How was it?
Girl [smiling]: It was really good... But, my peg... broke.  Like, um... [demonstrates a really stiff tuning peg being moved] yeah.  Snapped.
Me: Wow.  That doesn't happen often.
Girl: I asked the guy if he could fix it, but [disdainfully] he said he couldn't, we'd have to take it back to the shop we bought it from, so they could... get me a new one?
Me: Yep.  They'll have to take it out and - well, you can't really fix them.  Once they're snapped, they're snapped.  You'll need a new one.  How many weeks have you had this violin, anyway?
Girl: Like, four. ... Or so.
Me: Will your mum be able to take it in this afternoon?
Girl [raised eyebrow, shaking head]: No.  Um, no.  Oh, and then, the day of the concert, my chin rest fell off.  But that was easy to fix.
Me: Oh.  So, apart from your violin falling apart, was the rest of it okay?
Girl: Yeah, it was really good.  Well, actually...  It was a bit boring.  All we did was play, and eat.  But the playing bit was good.
Me: What music did you play?
Girl: Well, we played this piece by Adele... And a thing from Carmen... Arra-jonny-aze [actually, Aragonaise]
Me: Can you sing it for me?
Girl [singing and humming]: Da da da da da [etc - I almost picked up the tune].... [faster, in time, head bopping] nn pluck pluck nn pluck pluck nn pluck pluck

I guess she was in second violins.

Biggest Instrument

On Wednesday, the grade 3s had their first ever concert (for their parents).  The next day, I was talking with a violinist from the junior quartet (grade 5).

Girl: How was the grade 3 concert?
Me: It was good.
Girl: Now, be honest - did some of them sound terrible?
Me: Ummm... I don't think so... But I couldn't hear all of them, so I can't say with certainty.
Girl: Oh, now, are they going to play for the grade 2s at the end of the year?
Me: Yes.
Girl: Man, I loved that!  It got me so pumped up!  I really wanted to play the double bass.  I wanted to play the biggest instrument in the class.
Me: So, uh, how's that working out for you?
Girl: Yeah.  Not so great.

The Thumb Joke

12-yr-old girl.  Her posture was not as good as it should be, very tight and squeezy, so she had her thumb clenched up to her hand (like a Stop sign).

Me: Hand down. [she straightens her wrist but is still quite tense].  Floppy.  [I tried to open up the gap between her thumb and hand].  What's this?  What's this doing here?
Girl [bewildered]: I... I don't know.... I've always had a thumb there....

We both laughed.  A lot. 

Questioning Her Mental Capacity

One of my students is now at university, and was telling me about another girl in one of her lectures. 

Girl: ... And she, just, like, constructed a fort from tables and chairs.  For no apparent reason.
Me: Why?
Girl: No idea.
Me: ... Does she do architecture? [no] Engineering? [no] So... why?
Girl: I have no idea.  But, we think she might have some... mental problems... I mean, she likes One Direction and Justin Bieber so I do question her mental capactity.

Gold.